dark and twisted emo prince
Joined October 2017
- Tweets 17,644
- Following 624
- Followers 1,718
- Likes 126,244
1,567 Photos and videos
17h
if i were a girl i would probably strip even when the situation doesn't call for it
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Jun 13
what's even the point of showering if no one's gonna kiss me
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Jun 13
not ordering candy at the movies. i should be made president of the world
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Jun 13
the foidlike moid suffers greatly due to his low sexual marketplace value
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Jun 12
having friends as a guy is so chill because you'll lose the love of your life and start spiraling into depression and they'll be there for you with phrases like: why are you acting like such a fag?
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Jun 12
and it's like i don't want to talk to a new girl because then the old girl will become just a girl. which she is
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Jun 12
whenever life requires me to be mean, i just think: what would the person i'm in love with do? and then i do that
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Jun 12
ever since i was a boy i knew i wanted to be an obscure song from a familiar artist that a director uses in the second to third act transition to really nail the vibe when i grew up
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Jun 11
i hate gay sex that's why i finish as quickly as possible when i have it
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Jun 11
if i had a girlfriend i wouldn't mind if she were shy or reserved. she could even be completely withdrawn. and at parties it's fine to not socialize at all my friends are weird anyway we'll have hushed conversations and i will translate
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Jun 11
fine. you really wanna know how to get a chick? find a bicycle. on the right handlebar there's a bell. it goes like: brring brring. if it doesn't have one, get one. as soon as you see a chick you like, pull up and ring that bell
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Jun 11
reminding her that this is what i used to look like when i can't get it up
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Jun 10
on god if men could get pregnant i would be cracking them left and right
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Jun 10
i look good, in a certain light, precisely .37 meters away. if i'm with anyone and they're not far enough away i violently shove them to that distance. and if the lighting's wrong i just kill them
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Jun 10
i hate when she makes me feel bad about only having 5 inches. i've felt 5 inches. it's plenty big
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Jun 9
took steroids because she likes strong men but i'm too lazy to work out so now my balls just don't work
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Jun 9
dear Boss. i will not be coming back from my lunch break. i fell in love. i have to see this through
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