One of the okayest cellists of my generation
Joined April 2009
- Tweets 6,783
- Following 2,500
- Followers 54,325
- Likes 8,233
1,006 Photos and videos
May 20
When you think about it, Shostakovich 7 is basically the original emo concept album š§
1
13
1,655
Samara Ginsberg retweeted
Apr 10
I sent ChatGPT an audio file of a series of FART sound effects and asked what it thinks of "my music" and this is what it said
988
4,377
57,331
5,266,442
Jan 30
Pit band roulette: when 1 out of 6 of you had a big bowl of bean casserole before the show
1
13
2,796
Jan 24
Anytime I need a laugh I remember the time I tried to persuade a duo partner that we should play Being Alive as an encore, he said it was a stupid idea, we argued for a bit before discovering he had confused Being Alive by Stephen Sondheim with Staying Alive by the Bee Gees
6
2
30
4,494
23 Dec 2025
Cheese and crackers is a balanced meal because you balance the cheese on the crackers. Follow me for more health tips š
1
3
69
3,613
28 Oct 2025
People: āPit musicians are the unsung heroes of theatre š„ŗā
Techs:
1
18
3,060
16 Oct 2025
Last night a small boy in the front row decided he wanted to share his sweets with āthe music peopleā and passed some down to us in the pit. We love all our audience members but weād be lying if we said we didnāt have favouritesā¦ š
1
5
180
7,457
8 Sep 2025
I donāt know who needs to read this but you do not need to buy pit clothes, you need to dig out all of your comfy trousers and t shirts that are looking a bit crappy and faded and put them in the washing machine with a black dye pod
2
27
4,035
9 Aug 2025
Me: Why is everyone staring at me? šØ
Also me: Sitting on the overground wearing a big poofy concert dress, carrying a cello and eating a share size bag of Monster Munch
7
109
7,755
11 Aug 2025
Astonished to find that multiple people want to know further details of my revolting snack choices, so for those who are asking: yes of course pickled onion, Iām not a complete animal
4
56
3,506
15 Jul 2025
Neighbourās toddler just pointed at me and squealed, āCELLO šššā when I did not actually have my cello with me, so I guess thatās my name now š¤·āāļø
4
5
153
6,906
12 Jul 2025
Hereās something I get a lot after concerts:
āYou look SO MUCH like my cousin/sister-in-law/neighbourās ex. Doesnāt she look just like her? You do, you look so much like her! Hang onā¦ Iāve got a photo somewhereā¦ really you must see this, she looks just like you!ā
The pic:
3
53
5,345
13 Jun 2025
Find someone who looks at you the way a pit musician looks at the MD monitor during a vamp
1
22
3,189
7 Feb 2025
Been through both @HeathrowAirport and @LGAairport in the last week and security at both airports treated my cello like it was a newborn baby. Very demure, very mindful šš
1
36
3,484
26 Jan 2025
This morningās barista: āIāve heard the cello is really difficult to learnā¦ā
Me: āI donāt know really, I donāt play anything elseā
Barista: āHow long did it take you to learn?ā
Me: āIām still learning!ā
Barista: āHow long have you been learning?ā
Me: āā¦.28 yearsā¦ā
4
5
87
5,628
11 Jan 2025
When you get on the tube with a cello everybody openly stares at you as if youāve grown an extra head, but the strict No Talking On The Tube rule is still observedā¦ so itās an entire carriage full of people just silently staring at you š³
4
2
63
4,046
21 Dec 2024
Little Drummer Boy: āI am a poor boyā¦ I have no gift to bring thatās fit to give a kingā¦ā
Mary: āThatās ok! We are more than honoured by your presence šā
LDB: āSo I brought my drum šā
Mary: āGET OUTā
3
4
53
4,048