The bard of Plough Lane. Folk singer. Womble. Pretentious suburban sicko meme appreciator. #AFCW 💙 💛

Joined January 2016
1,348 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
League One mascots ranked based on whether you'd trust them as a babysitter 🧵
68
132
886
239,621
Creepy AI looking Sir Keith using social media to announce anti-social media policy that wasn't on his manifesto
We are banning social media access for under 16s. These days kids must find their feet in a world where technology intrudes into every area of their life. I just can’t let that go on anymore. So we’re giving children their childhoods back.
Community note
The UK Government's 'careful review' of the research found a small correlation between children's use of social media and wellbeing, but no evidence of a causal effect: gov.uk/government/pub… assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/696e0b46…
1
148
When they cut to the crowd you can tell which Scotland fans are actually just Yanks in kilts by the way they celebrate
1
138
Sammy Mac retweeted
Overhearing my family talk about world politics is like overhearing kids talk about what they think sex is.
47
2,101
30,106
272,768
Yeah I could be dating Natalie Dormer but instead I chose to concentrate on my pog collection
The only reason why the US doesn’t win every World Cup is because our best athletes choose football, baseball, basketball, and hockey over soccer It’s like we are sending our 5th string up against everyone else’s best
1
2
319
English people, which team would you least like us to be knocked out by?
0% Germany 🇩🇪
0% Argentina 🇦🇷
40% Portugal 🇵🇹
60% USA 🍔
5 votes • Final results
113
Tfw Diana Ross converts her penalty tonight
30
264
1,792
135,370
Finally beat this game and finished first. I think 5 at the back is the way. Disappointed with myself that I re-rolled on Peter Beardsley up front only to be stuck with Aubameyang
88
Worst part of any football tournament is patronising adverts depicting some coke addled ad exec's imagination of what a football fan might be and how they behave
59
It would be one of the greatest moments in the history of sport if Iran knock the Yanks out now 🤞

ALT Kevin Keegan Beat Them GIF

Iranian Football Federation announces the 8% ticket quota allocated to Iran has been revoked by the U.S., leaving the federation currently unable to distribute tickets to supporters. A case study in political interference, discrimination and FIFA looking the other way.
1
3
151
Sorry to do Godwins Law, but even Hitler didn't ban Jesse Owens
FIFA confirm Omar Abdulkadir Artan can’t officiate at the World Cup after being denied entry into the United States. The Somali referee is one of Africa’s most respected officials. Somalia's Ministry of Youth and Sports say Artan travelled with a valid US visa. Yet Somalia is on a travel ban list introduced by President Trump’s administration. 🗣️ “FIFA is not involved in host country immigration processes, including visa adjudications, and has been informed by authorities that Mr Artan's status will not be changed at present. “In line with previous FIFA events, a host government ultimately determines who receives a visa and who is admitted into their country.”
1
1
202
Sammy Mac retweeted
Craven Cottage (28,000 seats), designed by Archibald Leitch, opened in 1896... ...isn't big enough to seat every gun violence corpse from America in 2025 (38,762).
Jun 7
This is how 89% Of the stadium looks in England Please shut up.
127
1,513
22,965
800,061
Computer, tell me who is going to win the Soccer World Cup™️?
“Greatest England XI of all time”
Community note
Whilst the majority of this team is subject to opinion. George Best was born in Belfast, Northern Ireland and not England. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Be…
1
480
Manager:
189
Sammy Mac retweeted
203
117
2,058
471,981
Who'd have imagined a seedy old cockney bongo magnate could have been a handsy wrongcock
8
19
203
23,715
World Cups of my lifetime 🧵 1994 - age 7 A boy called Tom in year 6 could kick a ball so hard that I didn't want to go to the top of the playground where he played I remember walking through a game on the rec trying to ask boys if they wanted to play something else now
1
4
945
2022 - aged 35 TWICE on separate occasions during this World Cup I was holding a cold leftover sausage when England scored (not a euphemism) which says a lot about my post-kids lifestyle The greatest final of all time won by the 🐐
1
109
2026 - aged 39 Now have a 5 year old boy to collect stickers with, he's watched enough AFC Wimbledon to be ready for his first 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 disappointment Would love to have the moral strength to boycott (Trump, ad breaks, Coldplay HT show) but I can't look away. I LOVE THE WORLD CUP!
1
1
235