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Alana Schetzer @schetzer

Academic, journalist, editor strategic communications. Not even my mum’s favourite Alana.

Joined November 2009
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  • Followers 2,538
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Alana Schetzer@schetzer
23 Oct 2018
Breaking news: A major cheese company will be sponsoring the next Star Wars film. It will be about...Boba Fetta I’ll see myself out
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We’re working from home today, and when I say “we,” I mean “me”.
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I’ve found that not listening to anything my brother-in-law says has been the secret to keeping my brain healthy
The Independent
@Independent
23 Mar 2023
MIT professor reveals key to maintaining healthy brain function independent.co.uk/life-style…
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I’m not having kids, but I’ve totally figured out the best gender reveal party. The ‘reveal’ is a pair of baby pants - if it’s got pockets, it’s boy and if it hasn’t got pockets, it’s a girl.

ALT Style Dress GIF by HannahWitton

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RT @VictoriaPolice: The 14-year-old was last seen on Katrina Street in Blackburn North on 20 March. Grace is 167cm tall with blue eyes an…
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Wishing all those who celebrate a Happy Ramadan! ☪️
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Hello, I’m visiting Darwin and surrounding areas in June! Any recommendations on what to see/do?
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Trying to get some rest before sleep but Theo doesn’t agree.
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RT @VictoriaPolice: Have you seen Paige? The 12-year-old was last seen at Marshall Train Station on 18 March 2022. It is believed that Pa…
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So…I thought the GOP was all about small government? usatoday.com/story/news/poli…

Florida bill would ban girls from talking about their periods in school, GOP lawmaker says

The Florida Republicans' bill would ban discussion of reproductive health in school, which includes banning girls from talking about their periods.

usatoday.com
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I hope you’re okay and you have a good day.
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So. I’ve been quoted $9,900 for Invisalign (full treatment, including check ups). Is this a good deal?
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RT @VictoriaPolice: 72-year-old Francis was last seen on Murray Road in Preston around 4:30pm on 17 March. She is known to frequent the Fle…
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Adulthood is realising that there’s *always* something you need to bloody buy…
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You know when you want to get out of house cos you’re getting cabin fever but you’re also feeling too lazy to leave the house?
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Does anyone know where I can get shark-shaped lollies in Melbourne? (in a shop, not online ideally) Thanks!

ALT shark week candy GIF by Trolli
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You don’t have to use nazi salutes or slogans to be a nazi - if you also use their ideology or methods, then you’re a nazi too.
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Can’t go anywhere today because my kids are using my body as a couch.
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Not to be a smartarse, but where else are you meant to cook?
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“…when she diddled Medicare out of $181,121”. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the word “diddled” in a news report before.
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There’s an amazing new cafe that’s just opened. It’s in an industrial bin; it was started by a former Michelin star chef but he only makes toasties with foraged mushrooms. They’re $26 and taste like crap but they photograph well. Melbourne’s food scene, in one bitchy sentence.
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