Being raised in an anti SpongeBob household is a lifelong social handicap and lowkey abusive

no one else wants to pregame this wedding to the Hamilton soundtrack

This is what the inside of my brain looks like all the time

PSA Trader Joe’s just came out with a banana pudding ice cream and regrettably it’s incredible

It’s a *Toy* Story 🤠 You knew it! My new original song “I Knew It, I Knew You” for Disney and @Pixar’s @toystory 5 will be yours on June 5th. I’ve always dreamed of getting to write for these characters who I’ve adored since I was a 5 year old kid watching the first Toy Story movie. I fell instantly in love with Toy Story 5 when I was lucky enough to see it in its early stages, and I wrote this song as soon as I got home from the screening. Sometimes you just know, right? You can pre-order now exclusively at store.taylorswift.com and catch Toy Story 5 in theaters June 19th ☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

Pope Leo XIV: "Among these ideologies, I consider particularly insidious the one that suggests that every person must earn or justify his or her own worth, to the point of attributing greater value to those who are more efficient or effective. From this perspective, persons end up being reduced to a means of achieving results, a resource to be used and exploited, and are no longer recognized as a proper end in themselves who should never be instrumentalized. The value of persons, however, does not depend on what they achieve or produce. There are rights that apply to everyone simply by virtue of being human, and no human power can legitimately deny or arbitrarily limit them." #MagnificaHumanitas

I’m like the opposite of AI. It took me over half an hour to write a simple email, and I didn’t consume a single drop of water all day.

rizgod ily 😭

editing an email to delete every time you used the word “just” ✨women in law things✨

and for the lady, perhaps a fucking break

Michelle and I can’t wait for you to visit the Obama Presidential Center! Starting on June 19, the Center will be open to the public, and you’ll be able to check out the Museum along with public spaces like a new branch of the Chicago Public Library with a reading room, a two-acre playground, a fruit and vegetable garden, and more. Tickets available at tickets.obama.org.

If I’m on the receiving end of another pro se chatgpt bankruptcy motion I’m leaving the industry and applying for survivor

case submitted ✊🏼😮‍💨💯

Monday is my first appellate oral argument. Spending today alone in my empty office building practicing my “in case they don’t ask any questions in the first 10 minutes” speech. The theater kid to litigator pipeline is so real…

can they just agree on something???

Is there a motion to ask the pro se party to stop filing shit

Pitt finale was mid ☹️

big news for those of us in real estate law

Almost 7 years as a lawyer and I’ve figured out that the best cure for imposter syndrome is simply dealing with other lawyers. I mean I’m fucking dumb but some of you mother fuckers barely have a pulse

Tonight at trivia the question was about the philosopher who made a wager about God and I’ve never been more proud to be an @MSM_LiberalArt philosophy major, as the only team at the bar to get that question correct 👊🏻😇🥳💯