My kids are 3 of my best friends and I would rather spend time with them than most other people. Maybe it sounds scary if you don’t have kids you like.
If you speak with friends in South Bay, having kids sounds scary, they drive all the time for activities, and have no life of their own
If you speak with friends in SF (Noe Valley), it sounds less scary, all activities are a block away and they go on retreats with their husbands and have fun for fun
It seems people choose their own pain and the answer is live in SF