Noah Smith is a writer or something. (he/him)
Joined June 2009
- Tweets 16,159
- Following 1,608
- Followers 552
- Likes 6,118
1,382 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
1 Feb 2018
It’s weird that anyone would ever say “no pun intended” when you could say “that was pun-intentional.”
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3 Oct 2023
Said Matt Gaetz “if me and you seven
Vote to oust him, we’ll get rid of Kevin”
So through speakericide
His leadership died
And I’m sure that it went straight to … hell.
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15 Sep 2023
Happy first anniversary to my most popular tweet of all time. Sadly, we’re still no closer to cracking this case.
15 Sep 2022
Today would’ve been Agatha Christie’s 132nd birthday … if it had not been for the actions of one of the people in this room.
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Noah Smith retweeted
29 Aug 2023
Just like with my children, I am constantly calling Alexa and Siri by each other’s names
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1 Sep 2023
So now, apparently, I have to figure out what costume I’m going to wear when we go to see the Taylor Swift concert movie?
Marriage, year 21.
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25 Aug 2023
Activate Rodney mode …
Geez! If got a mug with a head like that on it, I’d tell the bartender to take it back.
I tell ya, if we had hunches like that, we’d solve every murder on the books!
They say a supermodel can smile with her eyes. This guy can scowl with his hair!
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23 Jul 2023
So Palisades Mall (@BePalisades) has tons of stores and restaurants, a ropes course, and a giant Ferris wheel, but no gender-neutral bathrooms. Come on! It’s 2023, people.
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12 Jul 2023
At least Homer ate his one slice at a time.
Burger King's new cheeseburger has extra, extra, extra cheese on it. We hate it. trib.al/x7bUpVq
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9 Jul 2023
I agree 100% but it’s not like we non-fascist Gen Xers can bring it up at the next meeting.
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7 Jul 2023
Doc is here? Doc is not here?
Doc is here!
7 Jul 2023
Doc Severinsen is still alive, kicking it at 96 years old today.
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Noah Smith retweeted
2 Jul 2013
The kids are very excited to leave out a plate of Johnny Cakes and Ale for when Thomas Jefferson comes down the chimney on Independence Eve.
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30 Jun 2023
So interesting how little Hollywood cared about releasing holiday-themed movies anywhere near the holidays they depicted back then. Miracle on 34th Street also came out in June, a year earlier.
30 Jun 2023
#OnThisDay in 1948, Irving Berlin's Easter Parade had its premiere in New York City. Judy Garland and Peter Lawford, who sing 'A Fella With An Umbrella' star in the film alongside Fred Astaire and Ann Miller.
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28 Jun 2023
My wife and I are visiting London for a few days. Our hotel is quite close to Buckingham Palace. Sadly, I did not sleep well on the flight, so I was too tired today to be funny to try to make the guards laugh.
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27 Jun 2023
Ryan Seacrest gets offers to host TV shows the way the rest of us get spam emails.
27 Jun 2023
Ryan Seacrest Named ‘Wheel of Fortune’ Host, Replacing Pat Sajak thr.cm/d9j0bfb
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Noah Smith retweeted
27 Jun 2023
“PSYCHOS’”
“BIDDEN”
Fucking potatoe.
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