evil person
Joined August 2012
- Tweets 15,828
- Following 660
- Followers 1,221
- Likes 35,367
848 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
20 Dec 2024
*twas the night before christmas voice*
and the sky was made of amethyst
and all the stars were just like little fish
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they should do publicly broadcasted icebreakers at the UN
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at this point, the only way for the flyers to make up for the institution of the ice girls is for sean couturier to do the striptease from slapshot
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taking my birth control with a shot of don q 151 like god intended
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23 Dec 2025
me and my sauerkraut & toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce
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a sutter home™ companion retweeted
1 Jul 2025
"hurt people hurt people" okay fine I'll do it you don't gotta tell me twice
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18,530
2 Jun 2025
too much discourse about babies on airplanes and not enough discourse about taking your shoes off on airplanes
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2 Jun 2025
i think if you take your shoes off on a flight, you should get your feet chopped off
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21 Apr 2025
am i hopelessly depressed to an extent that is concerning to my life, career, and relationships? yes. but also, i just made the world's most perfect ham and cheese sandwich.
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21 Apr 2025
my mind....
6 Mar 2025
he's giving up dying for lent
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18 Mar 2025
more like march sadness. i bet no one has ever said that before
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17 Mar 2025
committing temporary suicide (taking robitussin and melatonin together)
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6 Mar 2025
he's giving up dying for lent
5 Mar 2025
The pope has increased his physical activity and celebrated the start of Lent, Vatican says apnews.com/article/vatican-p…
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4 Mar 2025
i was sooo charming last night and i sold sooo many flowers and i just do not think i should have to go to work today! i already did a good job, let me rest
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20 Feb 2025
my hot take is that you are a self-centered asshole who filters your world view only through your own limited experiences and you should keep quiet
18 Feb 2025
one of my hot takes is no one should be an only child. having siblings develops something specific in u that when u interact w people w no siblings u can tell its missing from them
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17 Feb 2025
great news from the aquarium: jellyfish love global warming
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12 Feb 2025
every morning someone comes into the flower shop and says "i know you're closed but are you actually open instead?"
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4 Feb 2025
inside me there are two wolves
3 Feb 2025
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1 Feb 2025
it's not enough to win. i must also die trying
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