@stelyons profile picture
SteLyons @stelyons

Comedian Akl/Chi. Creator of Paper Goat, co-host of @illbebackpod & The Dice Show Nz. TV writer, warm up for 7 Days & The Project. Big hugs 😍

Joined November 2010
  • Tweets 12,029
  • Following 537
  • Followers 722
2,352 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
SteLyons@stelyons
13 Jan 2020
Two questions: 1) Do you like suspense?
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SteLyons@stelyons
26 Apr 2023
I used to love tweeting and interacting with people on this platform. Even before it got musky I had dropped off from the interacting side of it. At some point I think I lost the understanding of how to interact with people, sorry that might be a broader note.
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SteLyons@stelyons
25 Apr 2023
I take drugs every day to help my brain work more like normal people's brains, I don't like it but it is required to exist with normal people. #ADHD
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SteLyons@stelyons
25 Apr 2023
Catching a bus in Auckland is like having an Auckland coffee catch up - just because one is scheduled doesnt mean it's happening.
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SteLyons@stelyons
25 Apr 2023
What I'm saying is my bus never showed up.
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SteLyons@stelyons
25 Apr 2023
So, umm, Dame Edna passing was the reason Australia rewrote their Nz immigration rules?! Stuff's cartoons are delightful abstract and specific all at once.
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SteLyons@stelyons
24 Apr 2023
If this wasn't a glitch I'd be giving #MarvelSnap full points for meta joy.
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SteLyons@stelyons
23 Apr 2023
Bed Bath & Beyond has filed for bankruptcy - has found buyers for the Bed and Bath section but the rest is Beyojd saving.
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SteLyons@stelyons
23 Apr 2023
I love the level of CBF capitalism Auckland housing has gotten to. When you know people need something you can treat them however you want.
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SteLyons@stelyons
22 Apr 2023
As if my tweets haven't conveyed this - I am old now.
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SteLyons@stelyons
22 Apr 2023
I lived in Chicago 7 years, talked to the police once. I've lived in Auckland 7 years and: Car stolen x2, house broken into, car hit & run, and a bunch of shitty small stuff too. People are hurting, then hurting other people and I really don't know how it gets fixed.
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SteLyons@stelyons
21 Apr 2023
I should be so happy with my life right now, work is happening, goals are becoming milestones and it's the first time in a long while I'm looking up toward the future. But housing.
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SteLyons@stelyons
21 Apr 2023
A nice pair of jeans, that's the best butt housing if you ask me.
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SteLyons@stelyons
21 Apr 2023
A guy I know tried to launch the world's biggest rocket on #420day. It went up in smoke and didn't even get as high as he wanted.
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SteLyons@stelyons
20 Apr 2023
In New Zealand I celebrate 4/20 on 4/21 because that's the timezone progressive enough to legalized it.
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SteLyons@stelyons
20 Apr 2023
So @RNZ requires a disclaimer that they are partially funded by the government but 1 News is out here like:
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SteLyons retweeted
SteLyons@stelyons
14 Apr 2023
Oh yeah, well I WON'T believe it's not butter.
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SteLyons@stelyons
19 Apr 2023
My friends are getting married, getting houses, getting kids. I'm getting reflux.
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SteLyons@stelyons
19 Apr 2023
B2B is when one persons business touches another persons business. #MakeCapitalismSexy
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SteLyons@stelyons
18 Apr 2023
My bus has no AC - so I'm sitting in a musky 30c bus but at least we don't have any airborne plague rolling around…
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SteLyons@stelyons
18 Apr 2023
Tupperware is no longer selling in Nz because who can afford leftovers right now!?! Heck, I’ve been grating my old tupperware into meals just to bulk them out. nzherald.co.nz/business/afte…
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