i live & breathe for horror movies. sobriety is my final girl era. recovering alcoholic with cirrhosis. very self-deprecating humour. staffie & gerbil mum.
Joined May 2016
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i have an obsession with dates. today is 3 years since i had the biggest withdrawal seizure of my life & ended up in hospital for 5 weeks with liver failure. BUT. i can make it a positive. today is 3 years since i started this journey & got the help i needed to battle addiction.
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i may only be 7.5 months sober but i think it just proves how hard this has been. it's been mostly HORRIBLE. but the 15th of june 2023 was when i realised how bad my addiction got and i started trying to make it better. if i didn't do that then, i'd have died. i'm glad i didn't.
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christ. i've never known a dog being frightened of a fly before. until now. he's been jumping out of his skin at it hovering around 😂 now he's actually bouncing around, mouth wide open trying to catch it. i'll be impressed if he does.
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i'm watching the first episode of WIDOW'S BAY and i have no bloody idea what is going on. but i want to find out and watch more. i love getting sucked into a series and joining their world. i am the same with books. fully invested 😂 i often get sad when i finish a book.
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the gerbs just scared the life out of me. i have a big fear of coming home to them.. you know. i got home now and it was silent and they weren't coming out for food or even their favourite mealworms. they EVENTUALLY came out and ate. bloody cheeky (probably sleepy) bastards! 😩
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been watching 2 of my favourite episodes of my favourite show with my family (only fools and horses - "the jolly boys outing" and "the unlucky winner is..") and i feel so much better. this is a happy place for me. i felt terrible earlier but i feel so much brighter now. yay.
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Jun 14
as an addict that can mentally spiral downwards a lot - i try all sorts of hobbies to distract me. my latest one is jewellery making. i just made my mum a purple bracelet because it's her favourite colour, and i did some earrings for me. i think i did ok, even with my arthritis.
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Jun 14
in the world cup sweepstake at the social club i got dr congo and mark got new zealand.. i'm not sure if we will do very well.. but at least these cupcakes my mum gave me were nice 😂
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Jun 14
cravings are bad today. i want the noise in my head to stop & my natural urge is to use alcohol to stop it. i did it for so long that it feels normal. i must keep drumming it into my thick head that it just makes it worse. "now the drugs don't work, they just make you worse.. 🎵"
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Jun 14
i'm at my parents house now and seen that my dad has done more dinosaurs! apparently my nephew wants some drawn on the ceiling 😂 my poor dad has done some cool stuff!
Jun 9
my nephew wanted dinosaurs on his wall (in my old room) so my dad drew him a triceratops and a brachiosaurus. the grumpiness of the big one makes me laugh 😂 also when i was little and scribbled on the walls i would get in so much trouble. how times have changed 😂😒
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Jun 14
sometimes it still feels so weird that we have a dog. i wanted one for so long and now we have him and he's been a part of our lives together for 3.5 months and i can't imagine life without him there. but yeah, at times it still feels strange 😂
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Jun 13
i always dread music rounds in quizzes but somehow manage to score pretty well every time. i can thank my dad for bringing me up on 60s and 70s music for that. we used to quiz each other on classic rock when we would drink together and i ended up better than him at it 😂
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Jun 12
hello hi. thank you for the concern honestly but i really don't need to go to hospital. i'm not in any pain - but if i was then i'd have gone to get checked out. i have liver flare ups sometimes but i'm all good. i've been resting at home & i'm no longer itchy/hot/bothered etc 😁
Jun 12
there is no pain, but i think something is going on with my liver cirrhosis. i've just had my 3rd nosebleed in 10 hours and i've scratched myself to shreds because i'm so fucking itchy. my heart BPM is constantly ranging from 120-135 and i'm bloody boiling. but no pain. whyyy? 😒
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Jun 12
there is no pain, but i think something is going on with my liver cirrhosis. i've just had my 3rd nosebleed in 10 hours and i've scratched myself to shreds because i'm so fucking itchy. my heart BPM is constantly ranging from 120-135 and i'm bloody boiling. but no pain. whyyy? 😒
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Jun 12
i made some friends 👀
Jun 12
me and mark are helping clear out some of the upstairs rooms at the country club. we're part of the events committee so help out when we can with whatever (apart from the bar for obvious reasons 😂) - and we appear to have travelled back to 1890 according to these books.
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Jun 12
me and mark are helping clear out some of the upstairs rooms at the country club. we're part of the events committee so help out when we can with whatever (apart from the bar for obvious reasons 😂) - and we appear to have travelled back to 1890 according to these books.
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Jun 12
"every addict quits drinking eventually" 😭 oof, that's dark. but it is true. i would rather it be my choice to quit now.. not the alternative.
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Jun 12
another update. i was laughing at how grumpy the brachiosaurus was. it's been changed now 😂
Jun 9
my nephew wanted dinosaurs on his wall (in my old room) so my dad drew him a triceratops and a brachiosaurus. the grumpiness of the big one makes me laugh 😂 also when i was little and scribbled on the walls i would get in so much trouble. how times have changed 😂😒
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Jun 11
my dad has drawn a stegosaurus on the bedroom wall for my nephew now. i'm enjoying these updates. i LOVE drawing dinosaurs so i guess this is another thing me and my dad have in common haha.
Jun 9
my nephew wanted dinosaurs on his wall (in my old room) so my dad drew him a triceratops and a brachiosaurus. the grumpiness of the big one makes me laugh 😂 also when i was little and scribbled on the walls i would get in so much trouble. how times have changed 😂😒
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Jun 11
was hoping i'd have passed out asleep tonight since i'm having a bit of relief from physical pain, but it's 2:30am now and still no luck. i've been awake 41 straight hours now. i wonder if one day my insomnia will just be randomly cured 😒 right. time to try again..
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