former Ivy League ball player, choke enthusiast, intellectual, occasionally satirical

Joined April 2024
31 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
Jun 11
My boy ran out of free likes on hinge so he shoots his shots on LinkedIn now 🤣 #respect
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Jun 15
This is actually ridiculous up here @TigerOnTilt
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Jun 15
Generational aura loss #america
šŸ˜¬šŸ„€Ilia Topuria organized a funeral-themed event with photos of his last four opponents there: ā€œThe White House. A white rose. And a nap in its gardens. Not many can say that, Justin.ā€ (via @Topuriailia)
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Diego Lopes (2026)
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Jun 14
Took down my childhood batting cage today. So thankful for all the memories and training sessions in this cage. It’s time was coming to an end though as I’m now #washedup
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Jun 14
NEW YORK!!! THIS IS FOR YOUUUU
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Jun 12
Just ran into my 11u travel ball coach and I just replayed my entire baseball career in my head. You think putting assistant coach for an 11u travel ball team is aura?
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Jun 12
Finally topped that post 🤣. Wondering how the portal is treating that boy Kugler now.
Jun 2
I can’t believe my commenting on Nate Kugler’s GPA gonna be my most viral tweet. I know he has 4 pitches for strikes and he can manipulate the depth and the movement on his slider but damn, didn’t know he was that viral.
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LC retweeted
chud is one letter away from chad and the only thing that changes is u
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Jun 11
Knicks are must see television
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Jun 9
Went back to my old facility and everyone was calling me ā€œuncā€. I’m just waiting until those little bastards turn 20 so I can make fun of their receding hairlines.
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Jun 3
You basically need to be unemployed to keep up with all this AI stuff.
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Jun 4
I’m convinced Jalen Brunson is a top 5 player in the nba right now
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Jun 3
Yo ivy burners chill on meee
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Jun 3
Am I basic? Yes. Am I also about to height mog the lovely Japanese people? Absolutely yes.
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Jun 3
Last time I was here, I was chanting ā€œUSA, USA, USAā€ during a NPB game on July 4th. Wanted to bring over some American spirit.
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Jun 2
I can’t believe my commenting on Nate Kugler’s GPA gonna be my most viral tweet. I know he has 4 pitches for strikes and he can manipulate the depth and the movement on his slider but damn, didn’t know he was that viral.
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Jun 1
The one who got away… (they rejected me šŸ˜ž)
Anthropic has confidentially submitted a draft S-1 registration statement to the Securities and Exchange Commission. Pending completion of SEC review, this gives us the option to pursue an initial public offering. Read more: anthropic.com/news/confident…
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Jun 1
Tigers gonna shock some people next year
Wait until the new coach looks at the schedule I have for next year! Early season series with Georgia, North Carolina and Georgia Tech!!! 😳😳😳 This is true!! šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚
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Jun 1
Writing ā€œIvyā€ next to a 3.1 GPA doesn’t make it better unfortunately
After much thought and consideration, I have decided to enter the transfer portal as a redshirt Sophomore with 3 years of eligibility left.Ā  RHP | 6’1 | 210 | 3.1 Ivy GPAĀ  Cut ride 4 seam FB 90-92 T93 Sinker 88-91 Slider 82-83Ā  Sweeper 80-82 Changeup 80-83 50% breaking ball usage this last season. Can throw in any count and manipulate depth/sweep depending on what I want to tunnel off of and swing path.Ā  2026 season at Dartmouth (1st year post-TJ): - All Ivy League Honorable MentionĀ  - Moved from bullpen to weekend starterĀ  - As a starter (7 GS): 3.68 ERA | .210 BAA | 1.15 WHIP | 26 K / 12 BB The arm is 100% healthy. Contact info in thread below
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