Joined August 2011
- Tweets 35,463
- Following 891
- Followers 303
- Likes 78,157
416 Photos and videos
some guy retweeted
13 Mar 2024
“got time for a quick call? easier to explain on the phone”
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some guy retweeted
9 Mar 2024
This is easily a 9/10 ocean. Social media has fried people's brains.
9 Mar 2024
"Mid ocean, mid winter", 1876. Oil on canvas. John Singer Sargent.
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some guy retweeted
9 Mar 2024
ur grandma has hella motion goddamn
8 Mar 2024
my grandma just be coming up with her own abbreviations😭 shes asking if i just woke up…
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some guy retweeted
9 Mar 2024
piss guy is crazy
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some guy retweeted
9 Mar 2024
naming my all-female team at trivia night the bene guesserit
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some guy retweeted
9 Mar 2024
No one.
ALT A green graphic that reads: No one should be jailed just for using or possessing marijuana.
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some guy retweeted
9 Mar 2024
every so often i log on to this app and i see someone sharing a story of them doing something so genius and schizoid and outside the box that it inspires me to become more clever and deranged
in the 2000s my university charged like $300 for summer storage BUT you could buy surplus FIM-29 Stinger launcher cases for $200 so i put my clothes and books in one, sunk it in the river by my dorm, and retrieved it fall semester
they’re hard to find now and i regret selling it
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some guy retweeted
10 Mar 2024
sorry i've had this stuck in my head for like a week
ALT lucille bluth from arrested development saying "oh michael honey i wanna cry so bad, but i don't think i can spare the moisture" -- she's got the dune spice eyes and nose thingy on
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some guy retweeted
10 Mar 2024
7 Mar 2024
Neil deGrasse Tyson critiques thumpers and sandworms in 'DUNE: PART TWO'.
"You can't thump sand, if you do this to sand [slams fist] nobody else is gonna hear it... they have the worm going straight fast, no that's not how physics work they gotta curl"
Source: @colbertlateshow
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some guy retweeted
9 Mar 2024
Holy shit this is Rick and Morty
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some guy retweeted
4 Mar 2024
honeypots in movies: world's most beautiful and sophisticated woman who eventually betrays her nation after she falls in love with the hero
honeypots in real life:
BREAKING: U.S. Air Force employee charged with giving classified information to woman he met on dating site
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some guy retweeted
4 Mar 2024
When I was 10 a man in Borders asked me to meet him in the bathroom. I ran and told mall security. They apprehended him and asked my mom and I to wait outside the tiny security room where they held him until the cops came. Then they loudly beat the shit out of him for 10 minutes.
3 Mar 2024
Do you recall acquiring any specific item or having a memorable experience at Borders Books?
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some guy retweeted
4 Mar 2024
the interviewer kinda looks like if i tried to draw robert pattinson from memory
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