Joined March 2009
- Tweets 52,106
- Following 215
- Followers 616
- Likes 50,177
7,471 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
10 Aug 2020
Men get bigger pockets so they can carry around all their audacity.
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24 Sep 2022
Because we love mess (at @Cinemark for Don't Worry Darling in Dallas, TX) swarmapp.com/c/6gf8m7rsqpl
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11 Sep 2022
Cbs changing the Chiefs game over to Raiders/Chargers...
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16 Jul 2022
Bottomless brunch, but it's literally no bottoms because I don't have to leave my bed
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16 Jul 2022
Me after that first #ThorLoveAndThunder post-credits scene
(yes, I know a bitch is a week late 🤷🏼♀️)
8 Jul 2022
We meet again... #whathappensonthecuyahoga (at @DallasLoveField in Dallas, TX) swarmapp.com/c/kYOX7psDTel
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1 Jul 2022
Fuck bereavement fares, just give me bereavement drink tickets.
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1 Jul 2022
One of the things no one tells you about true love is how much time you spend discussing your poops.
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1 Jul 2022
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15 Jun 2022
Corporate "pride" typically gets a big ol eye roll from me, but y'all, THE YASCAR OF IT ALL 😂😂
Crusty ol' menfolk in these replies are ~bothered~ and I'm here for it.
YASCAR 🌈
#PrideMonth
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15 Jun 2022
Just left the most absurd, word vomity voicemail for a potential handyman and will now spend the next five years wanting to hurl myself into a black hole thinking about it.
14 Jun 2022
When your boss asks if you'd be interested in managing people...
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30 May 2022
As someone who was VERY into Tom Cruise in their younger years, as an adult I can now say, I truly do not think enough attention was given to Val Kilmer's hotness in Top Gun.
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14 May 2022
💃😍 Royal Blood forever and ever amen 😍💃 (@ South Side Ballroom - @ssballroom for Royal Blood in Dallas, TX w/ @nottreythomas) swarmapp.com/c/gVrE4SHSCVh
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10 May 2022
There are few things I hate more than doing self-evals at work. Like why is it not acceptable to just insert this gif into every question?
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3 May 2022
Me, for seven days...
3 May 2022
Get ready, y'all – ACL Fest returns to Zilker Park this October 7-9 & 14-16, 2022! 🙌
Look for the 2022 Lineup out Tuesday, May 10th at 9AM CT, followed by Weekend One & Weekend Two 3-Day Tickets on sale at 12PM CT.
Sign up to be the first to know at aclfest.com!🤠
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29 Apr 2022
Told Trey that today's Wordle was v. representative of me & my taste. His first three guesses?
Black
Witch
Awful
🤔🤷🏼♀️
This road trip is gonna be great 😂😂😂
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29 Apr 2022
Heading out for a 10 day road trip that involves camping and hiking, so naturally my body decides to fast forward my cycle and I'm now being sabotaged by my baby box.
RIP, Trey.
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29 Apr 2022
These -dle games are gettin outta hand...
#Moviedle #2022-04-28
🎥 🟥 🟩 ⬜️ ⬜️ ⬜️ ⬜️
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