I'm starting to hate myself - for one reason. I've put my health secondary for the last few years.
Ever since I tried doing content, I was juggling that with my career. Naturally, when prioritizing one thing, something else has to take a back seat.
In 2022-2023 I was in very good health. Not just going to the gym and running, but diet wise. I wasn't drinking, not vaping, and rarely ordered out.
The last almost four years (wow) I've changed. I noticed I feel more sluggish. I wake up tired. My muscles arent as big. My cardio is not as good. My recovery takes longer.
Yes, I think content definitely helped me. Yes, I also believe the time I dedicated to my career helped me become a solid engineer. But I never wanted to sacrifice my health, my body.
I'm kind of rambling, but I need to be accountable. I want to go back to the gym in the early mornings. I want to hold off checking my phone first thing in the morning.
I don't want to eat processed ass food ordered from DoorDash or Uber eats. I want to drink more water. The effort to meal prep, being disciplined to say no is hard as fuck but its so worth it.
I gotta be better. I need to be better. My responsibilities are growing. I'm no longer a kid who can get away with things.