Divorce lawyer. But that's not why most people follow me on here. Justified, not yet ancient. | @tkretchmar@mas.to | @tkretchmar on instagram
Joined April 2009
- Tweets 18,200
- Following 1,254
- Followers 1,835
- Likes 26,745
2,025 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
6 Jan 2021
A few days ago I decided that almost everyone deserves a trophy for their 2020 accomplishments, whatever they may be, so I designed and ordered one for myself, and it just arrived and it’s magnificent, and you should do the same for yourself.
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24 May 2023
While it was a huge oversight that the Rewatchables crew didn't have me guest host this episode, I'm nonetheless ecstatic that they finally covered my favorite movie of all time.
23 May 2023
New @TheRewatchables — ‘The Last Days of Disco’ 25 years later w/ me and those yuppie scums @ChrisRyan77 @SeanFennessey.
open.spotify.com/episode/5di…
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11 Apr 2023
Trying to convince @imjasondiamond to start a band with me called Mishegossip Guys
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3 Apr 2023
The Ramones changed my life. Thank you Mr. Stein.
3 Apr 2023
Breaking News: Seymour Stein, a successful and colorful music executive who signed Madonna, the Ramones, Talking Heads and the Pretenders to his label Sire and helped found the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, has died at 80. nyti.ms/43bzCIq
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9 Mar 2023
On the way to a meeting yesterday, fully suited up like the white collar whatever I am, I spotted a guy wearing an old school Ink & Dagger shirt. I broke stride to give him a full-throated Philly punk/hardcore shoutout. It was enthusiastically received. Philly heads are the best.
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10 Feb 2023
When a Philadelphian throws a battery at you underhand, that's the equivalent of, in Donnie Brasco speak, being introduced as "a friend of ours"
9 Feb 2023
I bravely told some jokes about the Eagles in Philly last night.
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28 Jan 2023
Feel like I just witnessed history in retrograde: cordless landline at Fanelli’s rings, bartender answers, says “You’re looking for [redacted]? Hold on,” turns around to pass the phone to a regular on the other side of the bar, “[redacted]! Phone call for you.” Amazing.
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22 Dec 2022
Just heard @CosmoBaker get a shoutout on @harvilla’s podcast. Amazing! My love for that phenomenal podcast grows greater with every episode.
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11 Dec 2022
Took me years to be certain about this but:
4. Disco 2000 (Pulp)
30 Jan 2018
Every so often I wonder if I've been mistaken about the ranking order of the three greatest songs of all time, then I remember I've had the order right all along
1. Don't Worry Baby (Beach Boys)
2. Dreaming (Blondie)
3. Surrender (Cheap Trick)
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5 Dec 2022
A great way to make me hate your product is if you use text message notification sounds in your commercials.
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20 Nov 2022
Miley Cyrus's cover version of Heart of Glass is an absolute banger. No joke. Let that this may be among the last great benefits you reap from this website before it goes under.
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13 Nov 2022
Just listened to a Latin American server at B&H Dairy patiently explain kashrut to a confused but curious whitebread tourist (“Trust me, in 85 years we’ve never served chicken soup here”); I love you New York City
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12 Nov 2022
How do we convince Elon Musk to buy Ticketmaster
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9 Nov 2022
Kant didn't publish The Critique of Pure Reason - his first major work - until he was 57
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7 Nov 2022
Home for a hot second this past weekend. Took less than 10 seconds to run into textbook Philly straight talk from the birthplace of American democracy.
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4 Nov 2022
I'd pay $8 for this
10 Aug 2020
A fun way to shake up any pandemic doldrums would be if they reactivated everyone's Friendster account for 2 weeks, exactly where we all left off.
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4 Nov 2022
I have no doubts about these Philadelphia Phillies being able to score 3 runs in their next two half innings at bat. They can, they might, preferably they will.
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2 Nov 2022
no words for the amount of joy this brings me
2 Nov 2022
Brandon Marsh, who got to know Japanese media well as a member of the Angels, does the post-game interview on NHK.
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