When I remember my sins, which are countless and beyond measure, and I recall what the Salaf were upon
how they could literally count their sins, how they knew their shortcomings, and the sheer magnitude of their fear of their Lord
despite their nights spent in prayer, their days spent fasting, and their scrupulousness and asceticism
and then I look at my own condition, I am left completely broken.
I honestly don't know how I will stand before my Lord.
What could I possibly say when my sins are displayed before me on a Day when every soul will find exactly what it has done laid bare?
How will I answer the One who showered me with endless blessings while I met Him with nothing but disobedience?
How wretched, how miserable, and how ungrateful I am.
Oh, the utter regret, the sorrow, and the ruin.
What a pitiful state it is for a soul to willingly drag itself toward its own destruction.
My Lord, I disavow before You any power or might of my own.
I completely acknowledge my weakness, I confess to my sins, and I bear witness to Your endless favors upon me.
Forgive me, my Lord, guide me, and direct my steps, for if You abandon me and leave me to my own device for even the blink of an eye, I will perish in total and absolute ruin.