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Joined May 2025
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For dads: parenting as an expression of one’s ā€œlife’s workā€ 🧵
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ā€œA human life, by its very nature, has to be devoted to something or other, to a glorious or humble enterprise, an illustrious or obscure destiny. This is a strange but inexorable condition of things.ā€ - JosĆ© Ortega y Gasset, speaking of Ettore Bugatti h/t @FoundersPodcast
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Even just a few months into fatherhood, it’s already evident that things I previously considered ā€œlife’s workā€ were side quests. Still worthwhile and fun, but not the main plot. Parenthood forces prioritization, often ruthlessly.
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šŸŽØ ā€œ...THAT EXPRESSES WHO YOU AREā€ Your family carries your unique fingerprint everywhere. Your daughter copies your laugh; your son learns how to treat others from your example.
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šŸ‘¶ā€œ...TO BUILD SOMETHING FOR OTHERSā€¦ā€ The giving is the getting. Your kids' wins are yours. Parenting consistently exposes your innate selfishness. Poet David Whyte: ā€œthe authentic watermark running through the background of a life’s work is an arrival at generosity.ā€
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šŸ—ŗļø ā€œA LIFELONG QUESTā€¦ā€ Kids make it permanent—a one-way door you walk through for good. A quest you’re on for the rest of your life. When you become a parent you trade optionality and freedom for lifelong commitment. No career is this permanent.
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I’ve read this in the past thinking about vocation - its intended subject. But as a new dad I’ve been reflecting on how raising a family can become an expression of life’s work too. 3 parts to this definition...
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Below is my all-time favorite tweet, from @patrick_oshag x.com/patrick_oshag/status/1…

My definition of ā€œLife’s Work:ā€ ā€œA lifelong quest to build something for others that expresses who you areā€ 3 parts to the definition, all important… ā€œA LIFELONG QUESTā€ reflects the reality that work isn’t about a series of accomplishments, which ultimately ring hollow. Asimov wrote ā€œpast glories are poor feedingā€ Those doing their life’s work agree with Kevin Kelly’s brilliant maxim: ā€œthe reward for good work is more work,ā€ and want to spend as much time ā€œworkingā€ as they can in this short life. Everything worth doing is worth doing for its own sake. ā€œTO BUILD SOMETHING FOR OTHERSā€ is a reminder that work is about service— making others’ lives better. The poet David Whyte wrote ā€œthe authentic watermark running through the background of a life’s work is an arrival at generosity.ā€ Steve Jobs believed this was a central idea, too: ā€œLife can be much broader, once you discover one simple fact, and that is that everything around you that you call ā€˜life’ was made up by people that were no smarter than you. And you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use. Once you learn that, you’ll never be the same again.ā€ The most important line I’ve ever read is from the Upanishads: ā€œThose who realize that all life is one are at home everywhere and see themselves in all beings…who shares food with the hungry protects me; Who shares not with them is consumed by me. I am this world and I consume this world. They who understand this understand life.ā€ The giving is the getting. ā€œTHAT EXPRESSES WHO YOU AREā€ reminds us that it’s not sustainable to be something you aren’t. The best work comes from people expressing themselves in a way that embraces what makes them different. ā€œApple was Steve Jobs with 10,000 livesā€ Joseph Campbell, who studied the human story more than anyone, believed this was the key question to ask: ā€œwhat is it we are questing for? It is fulfillment of that which is potential in each of us. Questing for it is not an ego trip; it is an adventure to bring into fulfillment your gift to the worldā€¦ā€ Rumi wrote: ā€œtake off your mask, your face is gloriousā€ There’s nothing like someone immersed in a field they love, no matter what the field. *** David Whyte again: ā€œAmbition [for ā€œgoalsā€ or ā€œaccomplishmentsā€] takes willpower and constant applications of energy to stay on a perceived bearing; but a serious vocational calling [a great reframing of life’s work!] demands a constant attention to the unknown gravitational field that surrounds us and from which we recharge ourselves, as if breathing from the atmosphere of possibility itself.ā€ I love this image of the field from which we recharge ourselves…everyone's field is different, but it is in discovering our field, or more accurately, being honest with ourselves about the nature of our individual field, that we can begin a lifelong quest. Whyte continues, ā€œA life’s work is not a series of stepping-stones, onto which we calmly place our feet, but more like an ocean crossing where there is no path, only a heading, a direction, in conversation with the elements.ā€ Jobs also said: ā€œOne of the ways that I believe people express their appreciation to the rest of humanity is to make something wonderful and put it out there. And you never meet the people. You never shake their hands. You never hear their story or tell yours. But somehow, in the act of making something with a great deal of care and love, something’s transmitted there. And it’s a way of expressing to the rest of our species our deep appreciation.ā€ Life’s work: a lifelong quest to build something for others that expresses who you are. I sincerely hope that everyone reading this finds their life’s work, and thrives doing it.
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