Joined February 2015
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In a relationship, you don’t want to smother your partner. CSI can trace the pillow fibers and shit. #ustheseries
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Using Twitter is 1/3 creating new content; 2/3 repeating content you wish you had created. newyorker.com/magazine/2015/…

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This is North Korea hackers. We do not approved of #Ustheseries. Do not watch series when released. Capitalist American pigs are warned.
#ValentinesDay separates the mindless hordes of happy, romantic couples and the mindless hordes of people who watch Showtime.
Things missing from #Ustheseries: sassy best friend character, wedding interruption and nipples. No, wait, we do have that last one.
I find myself more impressed by relationships when I don’t have to read about them on Facebook.
Things analyzed in “#Ustheseries”: When to say, “I love you,” watching your date dance with somebody else, and, obviously, Karl Malone.