writer
Joined May 2023
- Tweets 9,476
- Following 526
- Followers 513
- Likes 68,540
1,194 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
1 Oct 2025
Starting 10/1, I am in a volume-based, honor-code-bound annual tweeting competition called #Tweetober.
In addition to my usual microblogging, I will be tweeting out the much anticipated spin off to HIS REAL CAR. If a tweet starts with a number, it is a chapter of that story.
17
62,787
This is how I’m watching the game because I am a verbal and textual person
5
72
I’m so sorry but how do you as a professional basketball player miss a free throw
4
85
Texting my situationship “if the Knicks win tonight we should conceive a child” I’ll let you guys know what he says
1
120
2,363
I don’t really “get” the new Olivia album. Guess the only thing to do is listen to 437 more times
1
66
I’m at the train station in south norwalk Connecticut and a European woman just asked me if it’s safe to come back here at night…. Girl idk
2
103
The new Olivia album is pretty good but I think it’s getting so much praise because at its heart it sounds like a good Taylor Swift album and we haven’t had one of those in a while
101
Jun 13
I want to go upstate this fall but to do that legally you have to have a boyfriend so I’m trying to lock someone down this summer
50
1,440
Jun 13
Are any of my real life friends doing something fun to watch the game tomorrow and want to include meeeee
1
168
Jun 13
The greatest music ever being the music that came out when I was eleven
Jun 12
E quando a Leighton Meester (Blair Waldorf) resolveu que ia ser cantora e entregou um dos maiores hits de 2009?
1
220
Jun 13
I would love My friends who I text to understand that I don’t have that many friends and they should text me back
57
Jun 13
For the record I HAD to stay in tonight to work on my NOVEL
Jun 13
New York is the greatest city on the planet, I tweet from my bedroom in a shitty sublet on Roosevelt island where I am by myself on a Friday night
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634
Jun 13
Me on my twenty sixth birthday the night I fell in love with my evil ex lover and I thought I looked soo fat
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40
897
Jun 13
New York is the greatest city on the planet, I tweet from my bedroom in a shitty sublet on Roosevelt island where I am by myself on a Friday night
2
71
2,167
Jun 13
i like some of the Sombr music but what the fuck does he know about cameras
56
Jun 12
Clicking “notify anyway” should get you put in a terror watchlist
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79
Jun 12
what if, as a bit, i did everything that's asked of me at my day job
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Jun 12
Jun 12
Sometimes I will treat myself to saying mwah even though I am an ostensibly heterosexual man.
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129