All change for the 2nd World Rowing Cup in Plovdiv, the first appearance of the USA, ITA and CHN teams, but no GB, GER, NED, FRA, IRL or ESP. Only 4 of the medallists from the 1st World Cup in Seville will be competing in Bulgaria #WRCPlovdiv #rowing worldrowing.com/event/2026-w…

Sex After Death... A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there was sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no after-life at all. After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact. “Judy, Judy.” “Is that you, George?" "Yes, I've come back like we agreed." "That's wonderful!? What's it like?" “Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch, you'd be proud, lots of greens. Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much-needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again.” “Oh, George, are you in Heaven?" "No, I'm a rabbit in Kansas."

Good controlled race from Lauren Henry in the 1st semi of the W1X. Alos a great performance from Emma Lunatti who becomes the 1st Frenchwoman to make an A final in the W1X since 2022 #WRCSeville #Rowing

@EnvAgency please can you answer the OURCs Rowing Sabbatical Officer about when she will get river restriction notices from the Harbourmaster for Summer Eights, starting Saturday 23rd May? Both she and I have tried to get an answer from the office and it's urgent. R. Quarrell.

This morning, a 65 year-old man woke up in the early hours and heard thieves in his garage. He called the police. Unfortunately, the officer on the phone told him they don't have any police officers free at the moment. The guy hung up and then called again in a moment and tells the officer: * it's about these thieves in my garage. Don't bother coming anymore i’ve shot them. After literally 2 minutes, 4 police cars, Armed response, counter terrorists, ambulances turned up,..... Thieves were obviously caught. Police officers had a chat with the gentleman Officer says - " You said you shot them! " Gentlemen - " And you said you don't have a free police car " Credit: Rudes On a roll - @MrPitbull07

Arthur is 75 years old... He’s played golf every day since his retirement 15 years ago. One day, he arrives home looking downcast. “That’s it,” he tells his wife. “I’m giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit the ball, I couldn’t see where it went.” His wife sympathises and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down, she says, “Why don’t you take my brother with you and give it one more try?” “That’s no good,” sighs Arthur, “your brother is 85. He can’t help.” “He may be 85,” says the wife, “but his eyesight is perfect.” So the next day, Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes a mighty swing and squints down the fairway. He turns to the brother-in-law and says, “Did you see the ball?” “Of course I did!” The brother-in-law answers. “I have perfect eyesight.” “Where did it go?” Arthur asks. “I don’t remember.”

I was on a train in Tokyo. We stopped between stations. Announcement in Japanese, then in English: "We apologize for the delay. We will resume shortly." The delay was maybe 3 minutes. Not a big deal. When the train started moving again, another announcement: "We sincerely apologize for the delay. We were stopped for 3 minutes and 20 seconds. This is unacceptable. Thank you for your patience." Three minutes and twenty seconds. They measured it exactly. And called it unacceptable. When I got off at my stop, there were station staff on the platform bowing and handing out delay certificates. I took one out of curiosity. It was an official document stating that the train had been delayed by 3 minutes and 20 seconds, signed and stamped. The staff member said in English "for your employer. So they know the delay was not your fault." I said I'm a tourist, I don't need it. He looked confused. "But the delay affected you. You deserve an apology." Three minutes. They were treating a three-minute delay like a major incident. Later I mentioned this to a Japanese friend. They said "oh yes, delay certificates are normal. Trains are supposed to be exactly on time. If they are late, they must apologize." I said three minutes isn't late, it's nothing. My friend said "in Japan, three minutes is late. On time means on time. Not approximately on time." They said the train company probably investigated why there was a 3-minute delay. "They will find the cause and fix it so it doesn't happen again." I kept the certificate. It's framed in my apartment now. A reminder that somewhere in the world, people care about three minutes. © 6IX.

Three old Grandmas, were sitting on a bench outside the nursing home when an old Grandpa walked by. One of the old Grandmas yelled out, 'Hey, we bet we can tell exactly how old you are!' The old man said, 'There is no way you can guess my age!’ One of the Grandmas said, 'Sure we can! Just drop your pants and undershorts and we can tell your exact age.' Embarrassed, but anxious to prove they couldn't do it, he dropped his drawers. The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and then jump up and down several times. Determined to prove them wrong, he did it. Then they all said in unison, 'You're 87-years-old!' Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, 'How in the world did you guess my age?' Slapping their knees, high-fiving and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies happily crowed..... 'We were at your birthday party yesterday.'

I never wanted to believe my dad was stealing from his road maintenance job, but when I got home, all the signs were there.

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know, it all happened so fast.”

Shoulda kept it cool.

90s school trip to a theme park. Teacher warned us that a pupil from another school who wandered off from their group went missing and was found dead with all their organs missing. Terrified, we behaved perfectly all day. Took 20 years to realise he was lying. Well played sir.

My Wife has just shown me how to tie a scarf by doubling it to create a loop. It's wonderful. I'm 73.

Calling all northern crews 📣 We are pleased to announce that for 2026, Henley Royal Regatta will include the Scottish Rowing Championships as part of the pre-qualification process 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Thanks to work with the team at Scottish Rowing, crews now have a closer and more accessible opportunity to show their speed ahead of HRR. Read more via the link in our bio 🔗

The Oxford women's boat includes 3 current and former Presidents - Heidi Long (this year's President), Annie Anezakis (President in 2025) and Louis Corrigan (Men's President in 2024) That must be some sort of record!

it's a mark of the strength in depth of the Cambridge men's squad that no fewer than 5 U23 World Champions miss out on a seat in the Blue Boat. Assuming all are fit, it could lead to a Goldie boat that would be faster than a lot of Blue Boats!

Nobody will ever beat the 1992 Olympic Torch lighting

We have had 176 paid up entries for wehorr2026 in the first 48 hours of being open - you lot really didn't listen about not needing to rush 🤷‍♀️

I was booked to play a small tent at a festival years ago. I turned up and there was some kind of booking clash so I ended up playing in front of thousands of people. I cleared the tent within 30 minutes. No idea who I was meant to be but I had a great time.

if@benenden/healthcare is as poor as their grammar then I certainly won't be investing#healthcare are done different