Making jokes where culture wars meet basic logic. History, media, and people taking things too seriously. Don’t get offended. It’s not personal
Joined January 2018
- Tweets 6,797
- Following 19,775
- Followers 17,984
- Likes 41,779
577 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
Mar 18
A whole mob of kangaroos watching her swing.
They’ve seen droughts, floods, fires... colonisation…
but this was the first time they thought:
“Yeah, nah… this might be the shittest thing we’ve seen”
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Rottnest Island, Western Australia.
Fun fact: quokkas have a reputation for sacrificing their babies to escape predators.
After watching my girlfriend trying to recreate the Chris Hemsworth video, I’m starting to think the babies had it coming.
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Jun 9
Pro tip: Go visit my girl Kaz’s page. Some of the most incredible photography you are likely to see. She takes the mundane and renders it extraordinary
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Jun 7
Future Mother of the Year candidate Bonnie Blue was filmed annihilating shots at a nightclub whilst heavily pregnant. That baby is going to be delivered and immediately ask the doctor: “are you a fuckin’ cop?”
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Jun 4
Whenever I meet a woman with a tattoo between her boobs my first thought is "WOW... my lawyer is gonna hate this"
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Jun 3
Not all missiles are cut out for the thug life
Jun 3
🇺🇸🇰🇼❌🇰🇼🇺🇸- Footage shows a U.S./Kuwaiti interceptor missile failing and returning to the area from which it was launched.
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Jun 2
Lost my grandma this morning. She was 96. This isn't me or my grandma. I found this photo online about 30 seconds ago. I have absolutely no idea who these people are. But I think they would feel honored to be part of something bigger than themselves: my engagement numbers.
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Jun 1
The new season of Emily in Paris is so romantic. It feels like a love letter to the city.
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May 31
Separating the people experiencing grief from the people enjoying it
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May 31
Their version of pillow talk is a eulogy
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May 30
His neck is in a different tax bracket.
side bar: the narration is first class
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May 30
Andrew Tate and the other Tate are buying a hotel in Romania for $30 million.
In the new hotel they won’t leave chocolates on the pillow. They'll leave burner phones. And if you're not enjoying your stay? You’re free to leave whenever they say.
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May 28
If aliens ever invade Earth, I hope Trump is still president purely for the shit-talking.
Aliens: “We have the ability to harness light and energy.”
President Donald J. Trump: “That’s probably the gayest thing anyone's ever said.”
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May 27
Iran’s navy is still operational.
A family of eels just made one destroyer their forever home.
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May 26
RFK Jr. wrangling snakes on Dr. Oz’s patio…because of course.
Is this what’s called draining the swamp?
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May 26
Experts say that we swallow anywhere between 16-34 cockroaches in our lifetime while sleeping.
Anyway, goodnight. x.com/Miyah250/status/205856…
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May 26
Russell Crowe is being criticized for the way he spoke to fans outside of his Paris hotel.
Honestly, if you’re creepy enough to know where a celebrity is sleeping tonight you deserve the tone you get
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May 25
Cloudy with a chance of WFH
May 25
سبحان الله تساقط كميه من البرد 😭
على بعض المدن الهنديه وهدم
بعض المحلات التجاريه وتكسير
السيارات 🐎
Community note
الفيديو مولد بالذكاء الاصطناعي ولا يصور حدث برد حقيقي في المدن الهندية، حيث تتجاوز حجم الحبات الواقع الطبيعي وتظهر تناقضات فيزيائية. instagram.com/p/DXrleRCksuL instagram.com/reel/DXwxwIWtx…
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May 25
Okay so… just got back from my vacation to the Strait of Hummus. Guy’s everything has returned to normal…. It’s like it never happened. I stayed at The Four Seasons and boyyyy… do they nail the pitta!
Take me back there!
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