SARR WE WILL NOT ASSIMILATE WE ARE GREAT NATION OF POO. YOU WILL TAKE US IN LIKE IT OR NOT SARR.
Dear Indians,
If you want Americans to like you I have some real solutions. This isn’t “nice” but it’s honest. I tell you this in the spirit of trying to HELP you.
1. Stop telling us you’re better than us. Your arrogance is off the charts and completely unearned. It comes from jealousy and we can smell it a mile away. If you were humble and grateful to be here you would annoy us less.
2. Assimilate. Dress American, eat American, become Christian or at least agnostic, learn proper English and IMPORTANTLY adopt American hygiene standards. Your dirty bare feet, your street-pooing, your urine soap, etc disgusts us. Pro tip, bathe every day but not in the public pool.
3. Slow down your numbers. Stop bringing 90 relatives here with you. Spread out, stop taking over entire communities.
4. Stop scamming. Stop lying about your credentials. Stop committing fraud. Stop taking over all free events. Stop pinching every penny, relax and enjoy life like Americans. This isn’t a game. You aren’t here to “win” by any means necessary.
5. Stop watching p-rn and stop perving on American women. Watching p-rn has warped your sense of what a normal interaction between a man interested in a woman looks like. Watch romantic comedies from the 80s and 90s instead. Be sheepish, be humble, stop obsessing over s3x and see the woman as a HUMAN BEING not a set of bccbs.
Now most of you will get offended and just call me racist. Whatever. This is a heritage American honestly trying to make the country a better place for all of us. You can accept this advice humbly or get mad and be hated. Your choice.