shouting my thoughts into the internet void, building a silly digital footprint one 0 like post a a time. and occasionally retweeting
Joined September 2018
- Tweets 333
- Following 166
- Followers 834
- Likes 1,226
49 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
29 May 2025
ngl being unattractive has its advantages. no other option but to stay in my own lane and do my own shit fr
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Jan 6
if you drive around behind people with your high beams on you should consider jumping out of your car on the highway
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Jan 2
they should invent a slushie that you can drink from top to bottom with a straw without having to fuck with it 3/4 of the way through
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2 Dec 2025
if garfield were a human man would he be an alcoholic or a weed smoker
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25 Nov 2025
i have officially missed my first payment on a credit account in my life. creditkarma uninstalled itself. i have nothing else to live for. even the duolingo owl is being passive aggressive with notifications
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21 Nov 2025
just saw a squirrel standing on its back legs holding a nut. classic squirrel behavior. you don’t see that kind of stuff much anymore
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19 Nov 2025
sorry for being inactive guys, haven’t had a lot of funny shit to say recently
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29 Sep 2025
i hate that clothes punish you for falling asleep while they’re still in the washer
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24 Sep 2025
been getting really into watching table-making videos recently. should table making be hyphenated? i dont know, but it gives me the red squiggly like when i type it like “tablemaking”
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16 Sep 2025
i must have a guardian angel, as soon as i put my kiosk order in at taco bell after a long day of work, an entire busload of high school volleyball players walks in. if that is t divine timing idk what is. got my order in 10 minutes and got the fuck out
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12 Sep 2025
hot take: bikers should be allowed to split lanes but only if your motorcycle is objectively cool. lame ass bikes and mopeds get to sit in traffic with the rest of us
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3 Sep 2025
aint much worse than shitty employees getting rewarded for being shitty
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27 Aug 2025
i cant imagine being so miserable that i take it out on food service workers. even at my lowest you could hand me a completely wrong order, the exact opposite of what i wanted and id probably apologize for taking up your time
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21 Aug 2025
sometimes i have a day at work where i feel like i have to use my brain extra hard, and it makes me feel very tired. i wonder if smart people
feel like this every day or if they just get used to it
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19 Aug 2025
i wonder if those people that i met at a concert who were from out of town and that i’ll probably never see again still think about and remember that dumb thing i said
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