life perfect, have never had problems
Joined October 2008
- Tweets 14,462
- Following 1,671
- Followers 18,359
- Likes 51,314
251 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
25 May 2023
Have never made a mistake; zero regrets. Whole life = as planned.
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Jun 7
“There are more stars in heaven and earth Horatio, then are dreamt of in your philosophy. Like Belle & Sebastian. Like, what’s their deal?” - Hamlet Act X
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Jun 5
It is weird I go to a coffee shop and give them money to do a thing I could easily do in my own house for free and YES I’m talking about punching me in the junk.
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Jun 6
You guys didn’t really like this and I want you to know I respect that and you
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Jun 5
I swear to you I have Actual Opinions, I just don’t trust you to know them.
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May 18
Have you guys ever heard of the television show Saturday Night Live
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May 9
I like when there’s two brothers in baseball and one is clearly the star. It’s like here’s Mitch Renda and his brother Gloopy Renda.
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Will Hines retweeted
FEATURING!
@TheLisaGilroy
Shaun Diston
@PFTompkins
@EdiPattersonHi
Dan Lippert
@willhines
Isabella Escalante
Anna Bezahler
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May 3
I’m so tired of being asked to be the spokesman of my generation! I AM NOT A ROLE MODEL!
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Apr 27
If you are only attractive at work conferences in hotels then congrats: you are conventionally attractive.
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Apr 25
If I ever directed a major motion picture, I would simply do everything right.
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