not only are my tweets the opinion of my employer (the galactic empire of space lizards), they are your opinion, too.

Joined August 2007
321 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
27 Sep 2017
I don't care if you were born in 1999. I'm not selling you my username.
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27 Sep 2017
I don't care if you were born in 1999. I'm not selling you my username.
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7 Aug 2024
Update: I have decided to sue everyone who has not offered to buy my username.
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7 Sep 2024
Someone has offered 10k. I’m suing them for an additional 100k for ruining the joke.
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31 May 2024
I appreciate that whoever wrote this code planned for edge cases like this.
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atomic retweeted
19 Apr 2024
🚨 Y’all, we are waaaaay behind in this year’s fundraiser for the Louisiana Abortion Fund. We need to raise $50,000 by 5/31 or we’ll lose matching funds ( and right now we have less than 3k! 😱) Can you help?
26 Mar 2024
The Louisiana Abortion Fund NEEDS YOUR HELP! 📣 We’ve kicked off our annual Fund-a-Thon! Sign up to become a fundraiser or donate! 👉 fund.nnaf.org/laaf #Fthon24
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8 Apr 2024
Today my plan to steal the sun will be realized.
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atomic retweeted
In the span of a few days, the Roman Catholic diocese of Lafayette, Louisiana, has excommunicated a man who resigned as a deacon after a priest with whom he served pleaded guilty to molesting his (the deacon's) altar boy son. | theguardian.com/us-news/2024…
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atomic retweeted
Fun fact the most comprehensive database of American citizens and their health is in China
26 Feb 2024
this breach is looking really bad. widespread impact over a massive number of healthcare systems, and plenty of trickle-down to impact those even not directly related. will be interesting to see if it truly is a nation-state actor. cnbc.com/2024/02/24/unitedhe…
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1 Nov 2023
This is a helpful reminder to @VoteGloriaJ and put @MarshaBlackburn with the rest of the garbage!
Want to be a part of No Trash November? Check out our calendar of cleanups here: bit.ly/3ye0adi #NobodyTrashesTennessee #NoTrashNovember
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atomic retweeted
I read takes like this, written by men who fancy themselves clever because their ignorance creates small worlds for them to lord over, who presume to assume the mantle of the thing they call ‘Western culture’ with no understanding of the humility and effort it takes (1/N)
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atomic retweeted
So far, every time this Supreme Court doesn't immediately toss an abortion case, it is Bad News for abortion rights
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atomic retweeted
It’s interesting that there appear to be Republicans on the floor right now breaking rules by video recording on the house floor while in session. #justsaying
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atomic retweeted
Nashville's @beckfortn says when former Rep. Jeremy Durham was reported -- by the Attorney General -- to have sexually assaulted or harassed 23 women, Republicans said they couldn't expel him because he hadn't had due process.
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atomic retweeted
6 Apr 2023
This isn’t happening in a vacuum, at all. Tennessee Republicans have been heavily suppressing tremors of dissent and protest. This from last year. boltsmag.org/pamela-moses/
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atomic retweeted
Ironically, Tennessee Republicans are using cancel culture against legislators who are literally pro life
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atomic retweeted
For those keeping score at home... Things that WILL NOT get you expelled from the TN state legislature: - child molestation - domestic violence - federal investigation - peeing on your colleague's chair Things that will: - fighting to protect kids from gun violence
Wow: Tennessee state Rep. Justin Jones, one of the Dems that the GOP is trying to expel from state legislature to protesting gun violence, calls out his colleagues on the floor ‘For years, one of your colleagues, an admitted child molester, sat in this chamber – no expulsion’
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atomic retweeted
Actual video and actual quote (I paraphrased) coming so you can see for yourself. But every living, breathing TN woman and girl were told they didn’t matter as much as a fetus.
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atomic retweeted
Tonight on the floor was difficult. I’ll talk more about that later, but a man on the floor actually said, out loud, to the body, that they would do everything they could to protect the fetus. As an afterward, he said they would do what they could for pregnant women-no promises.
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12 Feb 2023
someone should deepfake the sinbad genie movie.
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12 Feb 2023
This idea is a winner
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