Erotic tales to turn you off and on again.

Joined June 2012
14 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
'I've been a very bad girl,' she said, biting her lip. 'I need to be punished.' 'Very well,' he said and installed Windows 10 on her laptop.
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Btw Happy April Fool Day
Can’t believe they’re making a film of Gwyneth Paltrow’s ski accident! Who’s going to play the skis?
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Can’t believe they’re making a film of Gwyneth Paltrow’s ski accident! Who’s going to play the skis?
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Not sure about our new delivery guys 😬
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Writers are a different breed - to everyone else, Happy Pub Day means something very different… .
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The second episode of Challenge Anneka only drew half as many viewers. I wonder how many, like me, got it confused with Treasure Hunt? .
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Far more exciting than Jurassic Park…
This is a woolly mammoth meatball. Scientists at the “cultivated meat company” @itsjustvow used the DNA sequence of the long-extinct mammal to grow the flesh in a lab, demonstrating the potential for producing protein without slaughtering animals.
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LATEST: Twitter users win as Elon Musk reverses paid ‘For You’ visibility plan. As you were.
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Look-In - no better way to get a feeling for eighties pop culture!
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“I’m sorry,” said Pooh as Tigger scowled and laid down his spoon. “I’m all out of antelope and buffaloes.” .
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With Twitter Blue there’ll be no more photos like this. Tweet of the Year…
27 Mar 2023
Ian Dury - Durex as he often called himself - seen here in a prospective collaboration that would have set the world on its ear.
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If Twitter were a pub…
27 Mar 2023
Pub to let, near Wapping. I can’t imagine there will be too many takers.
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Bedtime. For once no screaming, no windows shattering, just the all-night cicada-like rhythm of unanswered buzzer alarms to break the silence.
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Most people don’t read books, far less know publishers. They play football or watch tv, or deep sea dive or simply don’t have the time. Twitter skews our world view dramatically. A girl I was hoping to impress with tales of working with Stephen Fry had never heard of him. 🤷‍♂️
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Never, ever leave your clothes out after midnight…
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Breakfast just arrived at eleven. No explanation why. Hot milk in cereals. No juice. Pretty normal.
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Whatever I think of this home, the carers are having a hell of a day. New resident arrived in ambulance- since then he’s done nothing but yell, bang on furniture and smash windows. Been in and out of ambulances all afternoon but his wife said‘I’m not bloody having him back!’
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If you rave about Cadbury’s Easter eggs, you’ve clearly never had one of these… .
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No one humblebrags like Ricky!
I had no money growing up. My dad was a labourer & my mum did everything to make ends meet. I went to the local comprehensive at the end of my road. Life was tough, I guess. And yet, all I can remember is having a laugh. Anyway, in May, I'm playing The Hollywood Fucking Bowl 😂
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“Don’t forget to put all your clocks forward tonight,” said Piglet. “How much?” asked Pooh. “About five inches, I think,” said Piglet, confidently. .
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I asked for an extra blanket because I was cold the other night (heating still not fixed). I haven’t dared ask for a new bed or something to chew or I’ll probably get a basket and a rubber bone. .
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