During my abusive marriage, my husband broke his ankle. While he was on crutches, he spent almost every day on the sofa watching TV and playing video games. He would yell out to me asking for water, or his phone, or snacks, or a meal, and I would go running 🏃♀️.
Six months later, I injured my foot and I was the one on crutches. He couldn’t bear it – I was too slow, I actually needed him to do things for me, I couldn’t keep on top of cooking and cleaning. His anger and intolerance increased by the day.
Finally, his anger started bubbling out. ‘Why haven’t you cleaned (our child’s) room?’, ‘Don’t you care about him?’, ‘Come to his room now to rearrange his shelves.’ I tried to explain that I couldn’t manage it but that I would do it once my foot had healed. ‘You just don’t care at all, do you?!’ he exclaimed. ‘I’m going to have to tell (our child) you don’t care enough about him to help keep his room tidy.’ 😠
I sigh when I think of it now - how much effort I would make to avoid rocking the boat, and the absolute psychological annihilation that resulted when the boat did get rocked. There was always the feeling of not being good enough; of not getting it right; the fear that he would paint me as uncaring to our child and emotionally hurt the one I loved the most; the fear of the rages, insults, and belittlement; the constant feeling of self-doubt – what am I doing wrong? How could I have done better?
My husband never hit me. But the psychological scars of living every day in ‘survival mode’ ran deep. Emotional abuse by a partner is domestic abuse and the harm it causes is just as serious. 🚩
#coercivecontrol #emotionalabuse #redflag #abusiverelationship #psychologicalabuse