I don't know who needs to hear this, but sexual access continues to be something you negotiate all throughout your marriage. Until death do you part. The only thing that changes is that sexual access is exclusive. So if your partner doesn't want to, you don't get to.
Men, if your wife isn't "in the mood", then work harder to create the conditions that give rise to the mood. Women are like 4bbl variable venturi carburetors - there's a million little things that can upset the balance, and you need to gently search for and improve the one small thing in their lives that isn't right, then everything will be great again.
Ladies, if your husband isn't in the mood, get him to the emergency room right away. There's clearly something very wrong.
Withholding sex in marriage is abusive, because it deprives the husband or wife of sexual intimacy yet leaves them with no legitimate avenue to fulfil a perfectly healthy & normal human desire.
Withholding coerces them to choose either:
- deprivation
- cheating
- divorce