@AmyJane profile picture
Amy Jane Gruber @AmyJane

And some things are over, and some things go on. And part of me you carry, and part of me is gone.

Joined January 2007
  • Tweets 6,773
  • Following 306
  • Followers 44,755
80 Photos and videos
My kid has had a phone since he was FIVE and never so much as scratched it. Now he’s 19 and today his phone is at the bottom of the Charles River.
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This is probably my last tweet. It took me 10 minutes to figure out how to post it. My husband is rooting for KC and he’s an absolute shit bird.
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Samuel L. Jackson doesn’t know how this happened to him.
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You guys have been SAYING George Santos but I’ve been HEARING George Soros and I’ve been very confused. JOHN: “I appreciate you telling me that because that’s pretty dumb.”
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So I understand now why he has haters, but someone is going to have to explain to me why he ever had FANS.
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I was going to brag that my child flew across the country to come home. But he lives in Boston. That’s barely a real flight. It just feels like he’s far away.
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Twitter being a garbage fire and Fresca making a canned tequila cocktail can’t be a coincidence. I’m going to have to pass the time somehow.
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I also wonder where you live if you think honking at a SEPTA bus or Philly garbage truck is going to make them move any faster.
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When a driver honks non-stop in standstill traffic in front of my house, I imagine them as Ralph Wiggum saying, “I’m helping!”
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I’m pulling the trigger. I’m cold. There’s nothing like that stale heat smell.
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My iPhone being on all the time is stupid. Who wants this? Oh god please don’t answer if you do. I’m hearing I can turn this off but someone is going to have to do it while I’m sleeping, because I’ll never bother.
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Chris Christie just said Herschel Walker is in trouble. What a night!
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I had to go vote like a grown human person and Dr. Oz was a choice. Like not a valid choice, but a choice nonetheless.
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I’m in the tub hearing the occasional weird sound. It’s cars running over my plants that were smashed and thrown in the street. I gotta tell you, Philadelphia. I’m getting pretty fucking sick of you.
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My kid goes to a liberal arts school and I had to tell him the Phillies were in the World Series.
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I think even if a guy hits a foul or even a “can of corn” that these guys on base should get to keep running. It would really change things up.
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Holy shit these are the uniforms I’ve been waiting for.
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If we lose after Meek Mill and the Phantaic, we deserve it.
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A man threatened to kick my ass for wearing Astros sneakers. Stay tight, Philadelphia.
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One of Jonas's college friend's parents enjoys John's work, but he's "more of a @reneritchie fan."
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