Why do 'Murcans do this with coffee??
Just gimme a flat white.
No bullshit.
π€¨
(I'm at a coffee shop and the guy in front of me in line is placing an incredibly complicated order. The barista is writing it all down.)
Guy: "Large cold brew, light ice, oat milk, two pumps vanilla, one pump hazelnut, no classic syrup, add a shot of espresso, a little bit of caramel drizzle on top, and can you put the caramel on the inside of the cup too before you pour everything in?"
Barista: *still writing* "Yep."
Guy: "Actually make that three pumps vanilla."
Barista: *adjusts notes* "Got it."
Guy: "And can you put a cold foam on top?"
Barista: "Sure."
Guy: "With cinnamon on the cold foam?"
Barista: "Yep."
Guy: "Actually I'm lactose intolerant so the cold foam needs to be oat milk too."
Barista: "We only do regular milk cold foam."
Guy: "Oh. Okay, skip the cold foam."
Barista: "No cold foam. Anything else?"
Guy: *thinks* "Whats the difference between the cold brew and the iced coffee?"
(The barista takes a slow, quiet breath that I felt in my soul. She explains the difference. The guy nods thoughtfully.)
Guy: "I'll do the iced coffee."
(The barista crosses out everything she wrote and starts a new cup sleeve. She does not change her expression once. That woman deserves a raise, a bonus, and a 30 minute break immediately following this interaction.)