KAMALA IS A COP. Rogue Neel Kolhatkar fan account. Underpaid yoga instructor. TAMU ‘18.
Joined July 2009
- Tweets 123,773
- Following 1,063
- Followers 1,985
- Likes 33,478
11,082 Photos and videos
⩘⩗ Smashley Simpson ⩘⩗ retweeted
Jun 15
horrified to learn that Brits think caramelized onions are onions with caramel on them 😭
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⩘⩗ Smashley Simpson ⩘⩗ retweeted
Jun 15
somebody find him for me so we can help him get back on his feet
A cab driver was left speechless and can no longer make a living after Knicks fans destroyed his car 💔💔
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⩘⩗ Smashley Simpson ⩘⩗ retweeted
Staring down the actual Declaration of Independence before stepping into the octagon as an underdog to beat the piss out of an undefeated fighter in front of the world is an extraordinary level of legendary
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⩘⩗ Smashley Simpson ⩘⩗ retweeted
16h
*Applies for an NYC real estate job*
"Dear hiring manager, I hate jews"
Announcement to everyone: "I'm the guy who hates jews" - sincerely, my full name and occupation
*Becomes un-hirable*
"The jews did this"
This is so ridiculous it has to be an elaborate bit lmao
Jun 13
Antisemitic Cornell student turns down interview because he's 'not interested in working for a Jew' trib.al/NRIMqqR
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⩘⩗ Smashley Simpson ⩘⩗ retweeted
For all the moments we shared together this season and all the moments still to come. Together. Always. #PorVida
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⩘⩗ Smashley Simpson ⩘⩗ retweeted
"built stadiums for it" bless your heart
Jun 14
The funniest thing about this World Cup is that people are somehow shocked that country as rich as USA built some good stadiums for it and they pretend its some kind of a miracle.
Community note
These are existing NFL stadiums that were not built for the World Cup. They have undergone modifications to meet FIFA requirements for the 2026 tournament.
fifa.com/en/tournaments… espn.com/soccer/story/_…
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⩘⩗ Smashley Simpson ⩘⩗ retweeted
first episode he has to arrest his own father :(
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⩘⩗ Smashley Simpson ⩘⩗ retweeted
Jun 15
So the entire family can have a cup holder, keep up Skylar
Jun 14
Why does every car in America have enough cup holders for an entire family?
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⩘⩗ Smashley Simpson ⩘⩗ retweeted
What do you want us to do, shoot her?
Jun 14
I think it’s funny people never addresses Charlie Kirk younger sister who has completely different political beliefs and is huge Bernie Sanders fan who supporting Palestine
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⩘⩗ Smashley Simpson ⩘⩗ retweeted
Jun 14
This is why Lavar Ball is one of the best basketball dads ever.
If this was Lonzo he’d call him the GOAT with a straight face
Jun 14
Rick Brunson: “I'm gonna stop the argument too… No disrespect, I love my son… Patrick Ewing is the greatest Knick I've ever witnessed” 👀
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⩘⩗ Smashley Simpson ⩘⩗ retweeted
so there’s this city called Los Angeles
The more videos I see, the more im convinced Koreans and Mexicans belong together.
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⩘⩗ Smashley Simpson ⩘⩗ retweeted
Jun 14
Do not, I repeat, do not go into that Seven Eleven.
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⩘⩗ Smashley Simpson ⩘⩗ retweeted
One of the most incredible aspects of the World Cup in the United States is what we DIDN’T have to do to prepare for it.
Qatar built multiple brand new stadiums, a metro system, roads, hotels, and entire districts.
South Africa built new stadiums, parking, etc.
Brazil spent billions on stadium and transit projects.
Russia built and rebuilt venues across the country.
Meanwhile, the U.S. was like: “We’re good.”
Like, we modified the playing surface in some stadiums and that was it.
The sport venue infrastructure in the US mogs every other country on earth and it’s not even close.
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⩘⩗ Smashley Simpson ⩘⩗ retweeted
Jun 14
This is how you run for the Governor of Wisconsin? Celebrating the New York Knicks and crediting the victory not to the team, but to the Socialist Mayor?
New York City elected a socialist mayor, and the Knicks won their first championship in 53 years. Imagine what we could do with a socialist governor in Wisconsin?
@packers @Brewers @Bucks
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⩘⩗ Smashley Simpson ⩘⩗ retweeted
Jun 15
there is no way you think caramelizing onions means adding caramel to onions
Jun 14
Raw onions are healthy. Why do your creations all need a sweet starchy goo to give them any taste.
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⩘⩗ Smashley Simpson ⩘⩗ retweeted
Jun 14
he’s just French
Jun 14
Wemby's dark academia bad boy gimmick this year was completely insufferable and he needs to permanently retire it and just be normal he isn't charismatic enough to be a character
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⩘⩗ Smashley Simpson ⩘⩗ retweeted
Jun 15
Fun fact: Exactly zero of these people were in office in 2018, when FIFA announced the World Cup was coming to the US, literally NONE of it occurs in New York City or New York State, and the Governor of New Jersey just got into office. These people did nothing.
Dream. Team.
After years of planning, the World Cup is finally here.
What a day.
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⩘⩗ Smashley Simpson ⩘⩗ retweeted
Jun 15
Japan fans love Texas
Incredible energy
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⩘⩗ Smashley Simpson ⩘⩗ retweeted
We’re ready, Freddy 🇩🇪
Germany matchday and the internet’s favorite Germany road trip might be heading to Kansas City 👀
#FIFAFanFestival #FIFAWorldCup #WeAreKansasCity #WeAre26
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