coffee. creator. cars. cyber. cloud. ‘cue. change. culture. credentials. @ scale Security CTO/CISO/Engineer & Ops focused. CSTO @lastpass Opinions are MINE only

Joined April 2007
4,937 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
Please learn to listen to the pain our kids feel before they express it in ways like this. If you need help understanding how awful this can be & what you can do as a parent, my DMs are open. It doesn’t take much imagination to understand how I know this. x.com/cnn/status/99694490858…

17 May 2018
The percentage of children and teens hospitalized for suicidal thoughts or actions in the United States doubled from 2008 to 2015, new research shows cnn.it/2rMq85q
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Christofer Hoff retweeted
9 to 5 (Elon edition)
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Christofer Hoff retweeted
Incredible work by the @googlecloud team on developing detection signatures for nearly all major versions of Cobalt Strike… This is one of the most comprehensive CS Beacon yara collections I’ve seen yet. cloud.google.com/blog/produc…
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This is all the rage in the Valley
16 Nov 2022
What should I wear to the office today as a “hardcore” engineer? Reply with pics thanks.
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There is likely a qualifier after the “yes” but…you need to make better life choices, my dude.
16 Nov 2022
Are you kidding me? Listen to what @kevinolearytv had to say when asked if he’d support SBF again if he knocked on his door with a new idea… you guys are delusional to speak of him that way. Wtf.
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Unfollow.
16 Nov 2022
Hacking, Race cars, and whatever else nothing melts people minds more than me telling them I have never had a cup of coffee.
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There are many things you should listen to Rob about, and this is one of them. That said, I should disclose as Mr. Wonderful did about his FTX investment, that 60% of my recommendations are valid every time.
🧵"Twitter 2.0" is trending. I'm a foremost expert on this and let me tell you what you should do: quit, take the 3 month severance with your friends, and build the 2.0 version yourself. Musk will give up and buy your company in a couple years.
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GoFundMe page?
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This aged well. I value this thread at $8.
Yeah so…Twitter Blue currently billing @ $2.99/mo. I cancel (because, meh) and to incentivize me to reconsider, their offer is $4.99/mo. Is this how Dogecoin economics work? I can see where this is going.
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I wonder how this insurance claim went? At least the chunk of whale blubber was there for evidence…
#OTD in 1970, the Oregon Highway Division consulted with the U.S. Navy and decided the best way to dispose of a whale carcass was to blow it up with a 1/2 ton of dynamite. The explosion caused blubber to rain down on spectators for over a 1/4 of a mile. The TV segment is classic.
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I believe the same was written of David Koresh, Jim Jones and Reverend Moon?
Oops.
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I’m just gonna ignore that this place is imploding for a while longer, continue sh*tposting until I see the image below, flip a deuce sign and be on my merry way.
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No, I don’t have a coffee problem. Why do you ask?
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“…marvel of food engineering.” 🤓
12 Nov 2022
Folks, I’m sitting at Guy Fieri’s restaurant in Flavortown, DC, drinking something called a “Guy Tai,” and this marvel of food engineering just arrived. Life could not get any better.
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Christofer Hoff retweeted
Arguably one of the best awareness videos ever made 😂😂
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Somewhere in there is “PHP is not dead, it just wants to go for a walk or, in this case, do a little HipHop” < IYKYK
1995: PHP is dead, learn ColdFusion 2002: PHP is dead, learn ASP​.net 2003: PHP is dead, learn Django 2004: PHP is dead, learn Ruby on Rails 2010: PHP is dead, learn Flask 2011: PHP is dead, learn AngularJS 2016: PHP is dead, learn Next.js 2022: okay this is awkward
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The kids demand a show…
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Bruh! Congrats!!!!
Today marks the first day of my new adventure as Product Security Research and Analysis Director at @FiniteStateInc!
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Almost (ALMOST) as good as the amazing explanation of the Monster logo! youtu.be/bntfUA6TmLs
30 Oct 2022
Here’s the kind of “info” we can look forward to getting on twitter from here on out.
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Well, I need so clean my laptop screen now.
With infosec Twitter dying and Mastodon unlikely to takeoff, the only remaining option is for all of infosec Twitter to join Microsoft as full-time employees and talk in our security chat internal Teams channel.
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No matter what happens, I can always look back fondly on my twitter experience since 2007 and realize that the one viral post I made that had 2 Million impressions was about a fishing box that contained cheese.
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