I read this tweet again, and something I’ve been thinking about keeps coming to mind: when you look good, people often assume you have enough, so they rarely think to give you anything.
I can’t count the number of times people have reached out asking for one favor or another—urgent ₦5k here, urgent ₦2k there. But hardly anyone ever calls just to give. Even something as simple as fruits, vegetables, or a thoughtful gesture.
I understand that times are hard, and we’re all trying to survive. But let’s strive to build symbiotic relationships with others rather than parasitic ones—relationships where care, kindness, and support flow both ways.
I woke up early this morning and took my usual morning walk when I ran into my plantain vendor. I didn’t know she lived close to me, and I didn’t even recognize her at first.
She greeted me and mentioned that it had been a while since she saw me. I told her about the gas explosion I was involved in and explained that I had been admitted to the hospital for a while.
The next thing this woman asked was for me to dash her something to celebrate the miracle.
I wasn’t surprised because one thing this woman does very well is beg. Every time I patronize her, she wants a tip. Even when I don’t buy anything and she sees me, she still asks me to dash her something.
Giving to her has never been a problem. In fact, I consider it a blessing to have enough to give. However, her asking this time pissed me off.
Without thinking, I said in Yoruba, “Is your calling in life to be begging? Can’t you even look at yourself one day and say, ‘Me too, I’d like to give?’”
Her reply was that I’m a big woman, so anything she gives me would be too small for someone of my calibre.
I sighed and shook my head, asking, “Even after I’ve had an accident, you are still begging me for money? Fear God o.”
She smiled sheepishly and still said in Yoruba, “God blessed you so that you can bless people like us.”
She insisted that I must send her money — “owo ikoyo” (money for being saved).
At that point, I realized that you cannot shame the shameless, so I asked for her account number.
As I jogged back home, I kept thinking to myself that until some people realize that givers never lack in this life, they will continue to beg and live as beggars till they die.