I was emulsified about 69,420 years ago. I fight the dinosaurs. mayonnaise is exquisite
Joined March 2018
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White girls know their father so they think it’s weird
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This guys spending like $1,000-$1,500 a month on McDonald’s
That’s more than I make at both my jobs
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Jesus Christ….isnt that like $10,000 spent on McDonald’s?
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These UFOs can traverse the galaxy. They can puncture through spacetime. They can fly through radiation fields that would melt any metal on earth.
But they crash when they get here.
**Breaking** David Grusch: "I have seen photos of UFO Crash Retrievals" 👽🛸
"This is the most earth shattering thing that changed my world view"
"They were everything from flying discs to egg shape craft & every other morphology"
"They landed or crashed on the surface of the earth"
UFO Disclosure just escalated to a new level.
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Mayonnaise retweeted
Just in case you wanted a cheddar biscuit reminder.
(I'll try to make some biscuits for breakfast tomorrow though)
x.com/i/status/2000729220092…
16 Dec 2025
This came out mindblowingly good!
A couple variations on the classic recipe: I added a few ounces, maybe half a cup, of Chardonnay. We also added a teaspoon or so of fresh chopped hydroponic parsley.
I heartily endorse this idea. It's so good, we'll make it again, definitely.
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Whatever Gavin Newsom runs for he’s got my vote.
Yes my vote is that easy to buy.
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It’s even better if you put a few scrambled eggs on top and tons of black pepper and a few drops of Tabasco sauce
The answer is D - but needs sausage in the gravy.
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The guy I stole it from
well white girls know their actual dad, so they just use the name of the person they're actively fucking. weird huh?
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Didn’t Obama have dudes fucking in the White House and taking pictures to post on x?
One day I hope MAGA supporters can ADMIT if Barack Hussien Obama had done anything remotely close to this, we’d still be hearing about it today
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This gif gets you “limited visibility” in India btw
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Mayonnaise retweeted
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The African pope preaches it’s better to get aids than to wear condoms fyi
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Let’s fucking goooooooooo
To space
🇺🇸🇧🇷🏴 Una VIDENTE advierte que el próximo 24 de Junio, mientras se esté jugando el partido entre Brasil y Escocia, HABRA UNA INVASIÓN EXTRATERRESTRE, y MILLONES de personas serán ABDUCIDAS.
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They are happy they don’t have fathers because they really think this is what they are like
Y’all fathers would beat your ass, your moms ass, and touch your sisters
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Black people “we gonna fuck up any white”
11 year old white kid “you shouldn’t have done that. Get a job.”
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Lol this is funny
Black girls: sorry daddy, ive been bad.
White girls: Forgive me father, for i have sinned.
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New ufo dropped
Been chasing a pretty Yellow Shell, Camptogramma bilineata, around the kitchen ceiling. As you do.
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I would do the same except for Hannah.
Fuck you, Hannah.
That's terrible but also super funny. Look at all the people who fucked up:
Victim
Six employees
Multiple onlookers
If I see some dudes tossing a girl off a bridge and she's not bungied (is that a word) I'd speak up.
Unless she was my ex-girlfriend, Tammy.
Fuck you, Tammy.
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