Jokes and jokes and spaghetti.

Joined January 2009
6 Photos and videos
15 Jan 2023
Finished @tunicgame this weekend. Most isometric fun since Link's Awakening, and most challenging puzzles since Grim Fandango. Thanks devs – loved every minute! 🗡️🧩
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7 Jan 2021
House rep support energy: Morpheus’s pre-rave speech to Zion. House rep objection energy: little Timmy reading his book report on Go Dog Go to the whole class.
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15 Sep 2020
It took 30 years, but I’ve finally fortified my home with security measures that would make Kevin McCallister proud. How would you respond if your B&E triggered the most bombastic and colorful rave on the block? 🕺🏻 #SmartHomeVibes
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10 May 2020
🎼 Oompa Loompa doopety doo. We’re going to take your children from you. ☺️
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13 Mar 2020
Has anyone tried hitting @realDonaldTrump with a confounding curse? All you need is 2 words: “be specific”.
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Ben Cordes retweeted
When did it become more fashionable to undermine and discredit someone who disagrees with you than to offer a reasoned and winning counter argument?
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Ben Cordes retweeted
6 May 2018
Infinity War spoilers, but with no context... #ThisIsAmerica
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20 Mar 2018
My bottle of #TheLastDab Burnin’ Butthole Edition came in today. Thanks, @Heatonist!
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Ben Cordes retweeted
I'm buying tickets for underprivileged kids to see "Phantom Thread" so they can understand narcissism and the codependency it fosters in relationships.
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1 Feb 2018
Give it up, Papyrus. Go sit with Comic Sans.
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1 Feb 2018
Dance so hard your iPhone asks you if you’re driving.
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Ben Cordes retweeted
History shall record that you are not only the stupidest, most incompetent president ever, but also the cruelest and pettiest. #Shame
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just watched the Defiant Ones and more like Jimmy ioPhone am I right? (I am not right)
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25 Jul 2017
.@elonmusk I'm no rocket scientist but I am positive that the fastest production car in the world is really @TomCruise.
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20 Apr 2017
When you reach to grab the J from your mouth 👌🏻. But you remember you're out in public ✌🏻.
Ben Cordes retweeted
HELP ME PLEASE. A MAN NEEDS HIS NUGGS
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1 Sep 2015
What the fuck is Eye Toast?!
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found another great pic of me and @BenCordes
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26 Jun 2015
Let me know when they finally decide to legalize gay marijuana.
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20 Mar 2015
Can't tell if you're stoned? Ask yourself, "what was I just doing?" If you can't remember, congrats! Your dad couldn't be more disappointed.
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