I do appreciate condolences, but better than that, I would like you to do something kind for someone you know. Maybe someone you haven’t reached out to for a while, who may have gone through something difficult a long time ago that everyone has now moved on from. I am no stranger to Trauma Road, after all, and I know that’s how it goes… people rushing to do anything for you at the beginning, and then slowly fading away, until you are ultimately left with your unbearable loss alone. I know it will happen to me, too: The world will move on from this, even as I do not. This is a universal experience for anyone who goes through tragedy, and it is up to us to change that.
If I could make one wish, I would bring my dad back. I know it’s not possible, because I have spent days trying. So instead, I would like to wish that we can all remember that every person we are talking to carries wounds and treat one another with humanity, regardless of our differences. My father always did that. He was a man of faith and strong values who did not have time to judge others, as he was far too busy living his life as the example of what a good man should be.
While I have everyone’s ear, I am begging for us all to do our best to follow my father’s example. I need to see more kindness. Not just for me, as, although I am suffering immensely, I know I am not the only one suffering. Suffering is happening all over the world, every single one of us is dealing with something, and yet we act otherwise. Remember that the person you speak to is a human just like you are; that most of us want the same things such as happiness, love, and the best for our families and friends, and that most of our disagreements come from simply a difference of opinion in how to get there.
Go be nice to someone. Go have the conversations I wish I could have with my father. Go do something good, go say something kind -- because I can absolutely promise you, there is no limit to how cruel the world can be on its own.
I’ll see everyone soon.
Kat
P.S. Less than a week before my dad died, I had to put Cheens down.