When my oldest was born, they refused to let me hold her because her oxygen levels were low. But I was persistent, and they eventually relented, allowing her to lay on my chest until the NICU nurse came to roll her away. When the nurse arrived, I asked that they check her oxygen levels one more time before taking her. They did. Oxygen: 100%. Perfect. The nurse shrugged and left. Our baby girl was healthy. She just needed me. My heartbeat, my warmth, my touch. She needed her mom.
Stories like this aren’t rare. Newborns need their moms to regulate their oxygen and heart rate. That’s why, when at all possible, most doctors and hospitals give baby to mom right away.
We know this when it comes to normal births, but when it comes to surrogacy - especially the kind when two men are purchasing a baby from a woman - the baby is immediately and intentionally taken away from his or her mom and given to two strangers. It is not surprising that these babies often undergo complications post-birth. Beyond that, we don’t fully know the physiological and psychological effect of robbing babies of their mothers at birth.
It’s worse treatment than we give puppies and kittens, but when it’s for “inclusion,” it’s celebrated.
Adoption is one thing - it redeems a broken situation. But surrogacy is another - it intentionally creates the broken situation.
Babies’ needs will always matter more than adults’ wants.