I'm a TV writer and I’m also in a sketch group called Butt. @buttguys buttcomedy.com
Joined February 2010
- Tweets 11,725
- Following 1,054
- Followers 5,929
- Likes 22,450
2,962 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
8 Aug 2018
ME: i saw a guy on the back of a van
FRIEND: ...and?
ME: that's it i guess
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Chris Stephens retweeted
Jun 8
First look at the crazy sandwich Scooby and Shaggy make:
First look at Scooby Doo in the live-action ‘SCOOBY DOO’ series.
Coming soon to Netflix.
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Hamawy has won — meaning a doctor who treated the victims of the U.S.-Israeli genocide in Gaza is headed to Congress.
He refused to leave his rotation, even as Israel surrounded the hospital and cut off the water supply, until a new rotation of doctors was allowed in
Jun 3
⚡️ Dr. Adam Hamawy, the decorated former U.S. Army combat trauma surgeon has widened his lead in New Jersey’s 12th District Democratic primary.
With 56% of the vote counted, Hamawy leads by roughly 2,500 votes - almost 6% - as of a few minutes
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Chris Stephens retweeted
Jun 2
This was a parade of The Theoretical Idea Of Israel and had nothing to do with the country that exists!!
Jun 2
Smotrich was not invited to the Israel Day Parade in New York. He crashed it. He should have stayed away. His extremist views do harm to the US-Israel relationship.
Community note
Bezalel Smotrich participated in the parade as part of the official Israeli Knesset delegation. haaretz.com/us-news/2026-0… jewishnews.co.uk/anger-as-smotr… timesofisrael.com/liveblog_entry…
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damn girl you’re gonna make me have my biggest personal splurge
MrBeast reveals his biggest person splurge
"What has been your biggest personal splurge?"
"One time my fiancée, she was studying in the UK, and I really wanted to see her."
"I don't live near a major airport so like, all my, I have to drive two hours to an airport to then take a layover to take a layover to get to places because our airport is so small."
"One time I was like, screw it, I'm just gonna rent a private jet and fly to her because I really want to see her. But if I don't rent a PJ, I literally just can't make it work because a PJ flight is 8 hours, where as like commercial would be like 19, there and back. It's, it's like so much wasted time and that was probably like $150,000. I felt so bad but I was like, I don't know, I just really want to see my fiancée, or at the time my girlfriend."
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Chris Stephens retweeted
May 29
Weird Al: this is my song 'Amish Paradise'
Nick Shirley: This sounds a lot like 'Gangsta's Paradise'... weird how your
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Chris Stephens retweeted
May 28
ten years since this legendary moment
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Chris Stephens retweeted
May 27
Isn’t it interesting how these pro-Israel anti-Zohran gatherings immediately degenerate into blatant racism
In case you didn’t think the AntiZohran rally was both racist and a Republican campaign rally.
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Chris Stephens retweeted
May 27
Phenomenal answer by El-Sayed on Israel's "right to exist" as an ethnostate with no right to return for Palestinians. It's the furthest I've seen a viable Senate candidate go in acknowledging the one-state reality. Expect Zionist groups to get desperate and spend in response.
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nervously trying to explain the one year gap in my resume where I wasn’t masturbating
we’re hiring 10 Masturbation Consultants
$2,000/month to test our new Daily Guided Masturbation feature and document the effects on stress, sleep and mood
yes it’s real
yes you get paid
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Chris Stephens retweeted
May 21
Team Behind Americana at Brand Memes Account to Write Heist Comedy 'Jay Pegs Auto Mart' hollywoodreporter.com/movies…
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There’s a scene in Michael where he’s at a toy store and tells a kid in line holding a video game “hey, use fire magic on the first boss, trust me” then there’s another kid holding a basketball and I wanted so bad for him to say to that kid “hey, shoot it in the basket, trust me”
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Chris Stephens retweeted
May 15
Oh, but when I become racist for money I get nothing. Cool.
💰 Chud The Builder's fundraiser flooded with donations after attempted murder charges.
Take a look: bit.ly/4dJaT5h
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Kind of surreal to watch AIPAC flail around in the U.S. trying to deny the systemic sexual assault of Palestinian detainees while Israeli society acknowledges it, defends it, and celebrates it
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Maybe the funniest possible thing a person could have in the background of a video like this.
May 7
I’m getting canceled on Twitter for saying this, but it’s still true. Jews and their allies have had their careers destroyed after October 7th.
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When they do a flashback at the end of a Saw movie to show you Jigsaw was there the whole time.
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May 5
Religious leaders told 'prepare now' for UFO disclosure to unleash Bible-changing revelations
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