In the mood

another case of immigrants doing the jobs the natives won't

We're banning raves, because we don't want you having fun where we can't watch you. By the way let me tell you about Woodstock. We're cracking down on underage drinking. It's bad for you. Yeah of course we hit up the pubs at your age it was great. We're banning smoking, but just for you - the smoking age will go up one year every year. Oh yes of course, we used to be able to smoke inside everywhere, it was great really. We're banning flavored vapes. We don't have any evidence they're bad for you, you just like them too much. We're banning dodgeball during recess, someone might get hurt. Yeah we really enjoyed dodgeball too. We're banning flirting, because it might make the girls uncomfortable. We're locking you in your room for the next two years. Yes we know you're in no danger from the virus, but we're worried that you'll get us sick. By the way you have to take this needle if you want to leave your room again. Yes, twice. Well there will be boosters too. No, we aren't worried about side effects, that doesn't effect us at all. We're closing the frat houses, because we don't want you having fun without our permission. Please join these officially sanctioned university clubs instead. We're bringing in labor from the third world to work the service jobs, so you can't have a summer job. You need to go to university to get a good job. By the way we're raising the price of tuition. Oh look we're raising it again. Don't worry there are loans. At interest. Actually we're giving the good jobs to the foreigners we just imported, to make up for our racist past. We are very good people. No of course we aren't sacrificing anything. You just have to take one for the team. Also, we're giving the foreigners the houses. We needed to increase real estate prices. For our pensions, you see. Sadly no, you'll probably never be able to afford one yourself. By the way don't forget to pay your taxes. Need to support those pensions somehow! Eh? No, we're giving ourselves tax breaks of course. Seniors discount you know. Oh by the way, that one thing you still have, now that we've banned joy and kicked every ladder out from under you? That social media stuff you kids like? You guessed it! We're banning that too! Just for you though, we're still going to watch AI videos on Facebook. It's for your safety, you see. We've noticed that you're all getting rather irate, and we think it would be better for your mental health if you shut up for a while. Why don't you just go outside? Eh? No of course we aren't going to stop Ahmed and his twelve illiterate cousins from raping your sister, that would be culturally insensitive, which would make us feel very bad, and we can't have that.

how it feels to be a 43 year old sensitive young man

oh god

Mobility scooter is boomers voting for infinite immigrants and the cyclist is a zoomer trying to get a job

Doctors overrate that CPAPs are uncomfortable and underrate that they have outrageously bad aesthetics. Insane aura. I find the whole concept revolting.

I don’t really care much for soccer but I am pulling for Germany right now

There's a part in the office where a heterosexual white male asks a heterosexual white female to go out on a date, so yeah, that's not gonna fly these days

Anyone ever pick up on the hypocrisy? They call it “H-1B plus H-4.” What it really means is two for one. One worker comes in on the H-1B. Their spouse comes in on the H-4, and thanks to the EAD loophole, gets a job too. Two Americans laid off. Two foreign workers hired. It’s that simple math. Now imagine if an American employee walked into HR and said: “I want my wife hired too.” They’d laugh. They’d say that’s nepotism, against policy, not how the real world works. But when it comes to visas, corporate America bends every rule. Nepotism is called “diversity.” Favoritism is called “global competitiveness.” And Americans are told to sit down and accept it. The double standard could not be clearer.

Married women on twitter be like oh noooooooooooooo my husband, who is not allowed to have sex with anyone else, wants to have sex with me in our marital bed tonight oh noooooooooooooo I need to start some discourse about how awful this is

Wrong, it was simping

Is it time to discuss what this did to the fabric of our nation?

my friend invited me out after telling me that her polycule never had a white partner. I said “are you telling me poly wants a cracker?”

Constantly glad that all these different groups deeply hate each other and unifying every state in Europe and Asia into a Eurasian Union remains politically impossible

It’s incredible how much happier women of previous generations were with so much less 🙂‍↔️

ok well this is the funniest daggum thing i’ve ever seen on one of my cams

*approach girl at the gym* “Hey, do you work in tech?” “No, why” “You look like you’ve spent a lot of time as a backend developer”