When you realise your social media platform hasn't made it onto the Keir Starmer's social media banned list

Every year I sit down with my mother to explain how to use her phone and every year Apple sends 750 engineers into their little labs underneath their demonic Cupertino crop circle to come up with new and exciting ways to confuse her

The Captain faces her deadliest threat yet

One of my favorite interviews was with @StephenAtHome He GOT my humor. Wishing you only the best in your journey beyond your talk show. We need your voice more than ever! @colbertlateshow

You know what? The really funny thing about the Online Safety Act furore from Reform and friends is that a lot of the loudest voices still think this is only about social posts and takedowns. And it really isn’t. Ofcom is also consulting on Tier 1 standards for major video-on-demand services. Tier 1 is the the kind of content regulation already applied to broadcast TV in the UK. That will move what has been a binary argument past, “Can I say this online?” and into a far bigger question: how did the audience encounter the content to begin with? Was it labelled? Dated? Warned? Autoplayed? Recommended? Did it surface algorithmically during an election? Was it still accurate in context? This means the next regulatory fight won’t just be about posts, and that’s going to blow their minds when it gets here. It’ll be about programmes, platforms, catalogues, warnings, archives and recommendation systems. The internet didn’t abolish broadcast regulation in this country and give pernicious opportunists licence to say what they like without consequences. It just made the UK regulator learn a new route into the living room. This will be one to watch.

WE DO NOT HAVE MID-TERM ELECTIONS, NO MATTER HOW MUCH SOME TELEVISION PUNDITS LIKE TO PRETEND OTHERWISE. How you vote this week will not change a single law, deport anybody, or reopen the Strait of Hormuz. Here's what's really at stake: open.substack.com/pub/fleets…

We’re in the truly weird position where McSweeney had to go for giving the PM the advice to appoint Mandelson and Robbins had to go for not stopping him.

As a doctor, I would simply like to observe that we do not, routinely, conduct ward rounds with a flock of attending bald eagles, nor assess patients with bolts of light emanating from our palms, nor have satanic angels rising from our toupees. Other than that, the AI pic of Dr Trump was spot on.

Hegseth announces automatic registration for US military draft to begin in December. Any immigrant who doesn't register within 30 days of turning 18 can be criminally charged. While absurd, practically speaking all this does is show MAGA hypocrisy. Somehow automatic voter registration isn’t possible—but automatic registration for the draft program is both possible and now required. MAGAs don't want to make it easier for young people to vote—just easier for them to die in Trump's illegal wars.

BREAKING Trump backs down.

Don’t t you love that @SkyNews and Jon Craig are expending soooo much time on a stolen mobile phone from a non minister when they did ZERO over 2 PRIME MINISTERS losing all of their WhatsApp’s from a once in a hundred year pandemic where hundreds of thousands died ? Not a peep

New vid - The Enterprise Encounters Matt Berry (there’s something waiting after the end-screen)

“Just one more thing, President Trump. Why do you need our ships to help you in a war you said you’d won last week?”

As if I didn’t have less enough reasons not to subscribe for Twitter.

500 litres of oil for domestic use has gone up by £180 over the weekend. £300 last week, £480 today. #EpicFury

Regrets: Harris now clearly leads Trump in a 2024 redo. Big implications for 2026: Dems for Congress are holding onto Harris voters more than the GOP is holding onto Trump voters. Further: non-2024 voters are heavily favoring Dems. Puts not just the House, but Senate in-play.

I've long said the games industry has a particular issue with this. Exceptionally middle-class background industry, like most of the arts, unfortunately. I've felt very out of place a lot of the time - lovely folk ofc! Just would love more working and fellow lower class folk.

The Slug & Lettuce

Boy: "Is that the same Boris Johnson who in 2019 said money spent investigating historic child sexual abuse was being 'spaffed up a wall', Dad? Dad: "The very same, son. The very same."