Ted Cruz goes to the doctor. Takes off his hat, there’s a frog on his head. Doc says “how can I help you?” The frog says “can you get this fucking wart off my ass?”

A non Happy Birthday to the Rapist, Pedo in Charge!!

Algae--check. Mosquitos--check. Lightning and rain--check. All that's missing are the birthday locusts.

Chips are now $9 a bag. I’m calling my stock broker to buy stock in Lays Tater Chips.

This is as painful as it gets.

Baby Pippin.. Our new lovey at Barnes and Noble with me today…

The inflation rate in Biden's last month in office was 2.9%. Trump (supported by a Republican Congress) has driven it up to 4.2%. Thank you, voters, for your attention to this matter. wapo.st/3S2PCeA

Happy Pride Month to the First Lady.

Happy Pride! 🏳️‍🌈

"What is the meaning of life? Why was I put on this Earth? When will my next meal come?"

There aren't enough antibiotics in the world to help someone who has had Steve Bannon, Elon Musk and Stephen Miller's dick in them.

Hey @jaketapper, where is your tell-all book about this old gas bag?

So.. To the Uneducated or MAGA faction… You may want to read this before going after my visage, my education or my lack of knowledge. Let’s examine the facts of this “ pallets” of cash that Obama sent out of the goodness of his heart. First Fact.. $1.7 Billion was transferred in cash to Iran. Why in cash?? The transfer was made in physical cash via foreign currencies on planes because U.S. and International sanctions strictly barred Iran from accessing the formal global banking system. Second Fact.. This WAS NOT A GIFT OR DIRECT TAXPAYER FUNDED, but rather a settlement for a decades old pre 1979 failed military arms deal. $400 million was the principal amount that Iran had placed in a U.S. Foreign Military sales trust before the 1979 Islamic Revolution. $1.3 Billion was for the interest accrued over the decades during which funds were contested during the Iran.U.S. Claims Tribunal at The Hague. Third FUN FACT… The money given. THE PALLET MONEY WERE THEIR FUNDS! IT WAS NOT OUR MONEY!! It was the seized and frozen assets from Iran who had money in OUR BANKING SYSTEMS. G.W. Bush made sure that they would not be able to use that money AFTER THE 9-11 attacks!! We simply RETURNED THEIR MONEY!! There were stipulations where the money was to be disbursed. No one knows if the Iranians lived up to this but at least they grew to see us as NOT SO MUCH OF A THREAT! TRUMP WILL BE PAYING MUCH MORE! OUR MONEY! OBAMA WAS A SMART MAN.

My wife was at the kitchen table this morning and said “I’m looking a bit scary this morning.” And then I said “no more than usual!” And that’s where the fight started.

Texas Republicans are again showing what a bunch of hypocritical assholes they are by nominating Ken Paxton for the US Senate.

Excellent point. Don't forget to subscribe: dworkinsubstack.com/subscrib…

🚨🚨🚨 It keeps getting worse @lawyeroyer “The 1.8 billion Trump – Blanche slush fund is even more corrupt than we knew. Todd Blanche is offering to cut Republican senators IN on the PAYOUT to WIN their support. Please share widely and call your SENATORS to shut this down“‼️