12 years into my marriage.
here is what I've to say:
- learn to cook, dishes, washing your clothes etc…
- Always give your partner freedom & independence.
- Respect is the most important factor in a relationship. - There will be fights no marriage or couple is ideal.
- Never discuss your fights with your parents, friends, or kids, Nobody can understand, only you both have to take action.
- Do not bring past fights/matters into the current one. - Being right should never be important.
- Be good at forgiving.
- Most importantly parents will die and kids will grow up. You are the only two people who left together.
- Go on long drives, have fun, and talk sometimes about non-important stuff. Life is happening now...It's not a future race.
- Sex matters. It's not taboo, It's Biology.
- Marriage is tough and comes with many challenges e.g. "Marriage is difficult because it exposes your greatest wound."
- Change is the only constant- people change and those who don't accept change struggle the most.
“You don’t marry one person; you marry 3: the person you think they are, the person they are, and the person they are going to become as a result of being married to you.
- Never compare your marriage to someone else’s. (Contribute, don’t compare.)
And one of the main reasons marriage is so hard is because we go into it thinking it will be so easy.
End notes:
"Show me a successful marriage and I’ll show you two selfless people."
"Show me a marriage that is struggling and I’ll guarantee that selfishness in one or both spouses is to blame."
The 3 key necessities I experienced:
1- Sex - Physical Intimacy
2- Communication - Intellectual Intimacy
3- Trust - Emotional Intimacy