I'm horrible at these. Trying to find my way in life, like everyone else, I suppose. Love tea and bad puns way too much. Living with C-PTSD. ♎
Joined June 2016
- Tweets 22,594
- Following 206
- Followers 354
- Likes 56,198
4,818 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
14 Jan 2021
The only beef and toxic exchanges with you I’m interested in, are you buying me steak and beer.
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May 20
You know how you have to be in a certain headspace when writing spicy scenes? Yeah well it completely breaks when you intend for a character to cry out her lover’s name “Nathan!” but accidentally tap predictive text twice after “Na” and somehow end up with “Natural ham” instead.
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Feb 10
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that store that sells pallets of packages is actually selling super cheap Temu / Ali Express items packaged as “lost mail” at a markup.
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Jan 27
Seems like lately, a lot of the “Don’t tread on me! 🐍😡” crowd have rebranded to “Step on me harder, daddy! 🥺👉👈”
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Jan 17
Me running my fingers through my hair in bed: “Jesus… why is my hair so greasy?!”
Me running through it more: “Oh right… I took a shower a while ago and laid back down, it’s just damp.”
I think I’m going to need a bowl of caffeine pills and some coffee for breakfast today. 😛
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31 Dec 2025
Best wishes for 2026 everyone! Stay safe out there tonight. 🥂🎇
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29 Dec 2025
Been watching the series Soulmates. In a nutshell, it’s a relationship based black mirror kind of thing where some tech corporation can scan you and find out who your soulmate is. This made me wonder. If you were in a happy relationship already, would you still want to know?
0%
Yes, I’d want to know.
100%
No, I wouldn’t.
5 votes • Final results
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28 Dec 2025
I get silently blocked quite often. Usually after stretches of positive interaction, even them starting to DM me. Then there’s a period of quiet likes, and then bam, not just unfollowed, blocked without explanation. It’s fine. People can do what they want. Just curious why. 🤔
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24 Dec 2025
A director/producer friend of mine just launched a new book promo video service. If anyone’s been looking for something like that, you should check it out. He’s a good dude and delivers quality work. 🙂
bookpromoshop.com
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22 Dec 2025
My Instagram algorithm is completely fucked. It thinks I’m into boxing now because of how many reels I’ve liked about Jake Paul and Andrew Tate getting their asses kicked. 😂
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16 Dec 2025
Mochi candy will never be the same again, now that someone I know has compared its texture to that of a ballsack.
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13 Dec 2025
I know... I really should just give in to @duolingo’s threats and start learning again.
13 Dec 2025
libra, you can't escape from an owl that hates you.
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25 Nov 2025
So what’s the deal with all these supposed indie musicians on Instagram wanting to send people a free physical CD with a sampler of their music? Is that some AI generated postal address farming scam so they can sell that personal data to companies or something? 🤔
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14 Nov 2025
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHH!!!🖋️
13 Nov 2025
write something, libra. let your feelings out.
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11 Nov 2025
How do you imagine guys writing spicy scenes? Because for me it’s about 60% serious and 40% me wheezing over things like my predictive text thinking the word I’m looking for in that context when I type “brea…” is “breadsticks”.
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10 Nov 2025
Fuck Walmart. Seriously. What the hell?!!”
10 Nov 2025
Remove this. Now.
walmart.com/ip/Paper-Beats-R…
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5 Nov 2025
Feeling super off, like an extreme full body caffeine buzz, feeling high strung and super restless at the same time. Didn’t even drink any coffee today.
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5 Nov 2025
Apparently one of the cats is feeling the same thing. She just randomly made weird aggressive sounds and started having a go at the window. 😂
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