Joined June 2009
- Tweets 3,570
- Following 670
- Followers 107,664
- Likes 68,640
368 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
31 Mar 2016
I like Twitter because it combines my two favorite forms of communication: texting, and throwing a note in a bottle out into the sea.
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Emo Philips retweeted
21 Aug 2023
it’s obvious the artist had never seen a real dragon
20 Aug 2023
baby dragon, france, 15th century
ALT a medieval drawing of an orange dragon with a little body, big head, gold wings, and blue horns
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Jun 12
Update: my show in Janesville on June 21 is sold out (my theory is that it’s because comedy clubs provide safe shelter from Midsummer rituals)
Jun 3
The "Emo Philips: Guaranteed No Cannibalism" Tour is all set to savor its Wisconsin leg: Appleton, June 11-13; Kenosha, June 19-20; Janesville, June 21. Partake: emophilips.com/events
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Jun 10
never give a squirrel matches
Jun 10
Utah is so bone dry amid drought that a squirrel and kids with matches started separate brush fires
independent.co.uk/news/world…
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Jun 10
they’re not like chimps, who have mastered smoking safety
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Jun 10
will endeavor to make them funnier
Link doesn’t work for me
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Jun 3
The "Emo Philips: Guaranteed No Cannibalism" Tour is all set to savor its Wisconsin leg: Appleton, June 11-13; Kenosha, June 19-20; Janesville, June 21. Partake: emophilips.com/events
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Emo Philips retweeted
30 Nov 2025
While I am, of course, rooting for them, we should definitely double check their results
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Jun 2
you could’ve just told us
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Jun 1
you could’ve just told us
The tongue of a woodpecker wraps around its skull to protect its brain while pecking
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May 29
Hello! I’ll be performing all o’er America in ‘26; for the show closest to your home, or farthest from your home if you’re a fugitive, I beg you to please kindly gently click emophilips.com/events
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Emo Philips retweeted
May 27
A very important Emo announcement. So sorry to hear this
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Emo Philips retweeted
Emo Philips
May 21
Who speaks for Earth if Aliens arrive?
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May 22
keep going…
May 22
A fresco of St. George fighting a dragon spent nearly four centuries hidden behind another painting in a Naples church before a restoration brought it to light four years ago
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