We're banning raves, because we don't want you having fun where we can't watch you. By the way let me tell you about Woodstock. We're cracking down on underage drinking. It's bad for you. Yeah of course we hit up the pubs at your age it was great. We're banning smoking, but just for you - the smoking age will go up one year every year. Oh yes of course, we used to be able to smoke inside everywhere, it was great really. We're banning flavored vapes. We don't have any evidence they're bad for you, you just like them too much. We're banning dodgeball during recess, someone might get hurt. Yeah we really enjoyed dodgeball too. We're banning flirting, because it might make the girls uncomfortable. We're locking you in your room for the next two years. Yes we know you're in no danger from the virus, but we're worried that you'll get us sick. By the way you have to take this needle if you want to leave your room again. Yes, twice. Well there will be boosters too. No, we aren't worried about side effects, that doesn't effect us at all. We're closing the frat houses, because we don't want you having fun without our permission. Please join these officially sanctioned university clubs instead. We're bringing in labor from the third world to work the service jobs, so you can't have a summer job. You need to go to university to get a good job. By the way we're raising the price of tuition. Oh look we're raising it again. Don't worry there are loans. At interest. Actually we're giving the good jobs to the foreigners we just imported, to make up for our racist past. We are very good people. No of course we aren't sacrificing anything. You just have to take one for the team. Also, we're giving the foreigners the houses. We needed to increase real estate prices. For our pensions, you see. Sadly no, you'll probably never be able to afford one yourself. By the way don't forget to pay your taxes. Need to support those pensions somehow! Eh? No, we're giving ourselves tax breaks of course. Seniors discount you know. Oh by the way, that one thing you still have, now that we've banned joy and kicked every ladder out from under you? That social media stuff you kids like? You guessed it! We're banning that too! Just for you though, we're still going to watch AI videos on Facebook. It's for your safety, you see. We've noticed that you're all getting rather irate, and we think it would be better for your mental health if you shut up for a while. Why don't you just go outside? Eh? No of course we aren't going to stop Ahmed and his twelve illiterate cousins from raping your sister, that would be culturally insensitive, which would make us feel very bad, and we can't have that.

"Adults can still access social media through age checks like facial recognition, digital IDs, passports and credit cards" Screw the UK. And screw anyone who supports this nonsense here.

I'm reminded of the scene in History Of The World Part One in which Our Fair Hero professes himself to be a Stand-up Philosopher. "Oh," says the woman behind the counter, "a Bullshit Artist!"

We now pay our past more than you pay to defend our future. This is shameful.

Something weird is happening to @AmericanAir on X lately. Lots of complaints from accounts that haven't posted anything at all for months or even years. It almost has the feel of a guerrilla marketing campaign from one of their rivals.

We fought a brutal, bloody war to try to enforce the idea that we *were* all independent States. We lost, and as much as we all still have some differences, we are now merely political subdivisions of one large Country.

There's a neighborhood near me. Near, on a certain scale; I can be there in under two hours. My job took me there few times over the years. The first time I pulled into the neighborhood, I was met within a block, by men who weren't openly displaying arms, but who bore themselves with the manner of those used to trouble in all its forms. I stopped. One stepped up to each window, one stepped around behind the truck, and two stayed in front. The one by my window asked who I was. Who I was there to see. Where I was coming from. When was I leaving. Satisfied with my answers, he stepped back, looked toward one of the nearby houses and nodded, and I was allowed to proceed. Each time I entered after that, I got progressively less scrutiny, but never was I unobserved. Everyone in the neighborhood is descended from one particular Nationality. One guess which one.

"Cultural exchange is complete when both men perform the other's ceremony wrong, together, on purpose, every morning at 7:40."

Freddy has made it.

Fuck - and I cannot state this strongly enough - @TSA. I pack this case very carefully. Everything has a place. Everything in its place, because that's how I avoid damage. I gave up on padlocks because even the TSA ones were getting cut, so I just zip tie it and leave extra ties so it can be resealed when it's inevitably opened. But for some reason they can't be bothered to reseal it, and rather than heeding the note I left about one particular item that needs to be put back just like they find it, they flipped that item upside down, erased the note (which required unlocking the notepad, so there's no way it happened accidentally) and left their inspection slip right on top of the blanked-out notepad. Burn it down. Raze the edifices. Salt the earth. @Abolish_TSA

But a tip to my friends on both sides of the partition line: Most of our cultural memories predate the division. To us, Ireland is still Ireland (and given the number of NI residents who hold Irish passports, to a lot of y'all, too) and getting pissy with us when we try to offer support, because some of y'all still can't get along, is just going to lose you that support.

(With apologies to Bob Dylan, but not the journalists he was lampooning) You walk into Belfast With your notebook in your hand You see the Union Jack Beside an Irish tricolor stand You blink twice hard But you don't understand Just what you'll write When you get home Because something is happening here And you don't know what it is Do you, Mister Jones? You hear the crowds shouting From both sides of the divide The people who spent generations screaming With hatred as their guide They are marching together And you've got nowhere to hide From the questions you get that follow you home Because something is happening here And you don't know what it is Do you, Mister Jones?

Before I gave up on the idea of a carryon bag altogether, any time one of those blue gloved bastards took anything out, they just set it off to the side and gave me the rest of my stuff back. There was never a discussion of options or hint that the 'surrender' was 'voluntary'.

It's also a major flex. We can have our strategic bombers at this specific point, *at this specific time* and we do it for *fun*. Imagine what we can do when it's for something serious.

Elsewhere, I said that folks in Belfast had gotten their Irish up, and someone said I shouldn't use 'ethnically charged language'. 'Oh, so Irish is an ethnicity?' Of course, says the twit. 'And is an ethnic group entitled to a homeland?' I guess... 'Ireland for the Irish.'

"There is no justification..." Oh, but Keir old buddy old pal... ...there is. There really is. Hopefully it's the beginning of a lasting movement, not just a blowing-off of steam.

There's no blackthorn in my wood, so huckleberry will have to do. Shillelaghs out, me boys.