Feeder of human food to your dogs | @cbcdebaters | @ctvcomedy | @siriusxmcomedclub
Joined December 2010
- Tweets 9,650
- Following 3,024
- Followers 3,686
- Likes 26,399
648 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
New from @ComedyRecords: HUNTER COLLINS IS NOT AFRAID OF YOU! Comedy that puts its hand in the starving rat cage! If you bust nuts, if you get crunk, if you eat the banana -skin and all- THIS IS THE ALBUM FOR YOU!
Linktree here:
lnk.dmsmusic.co/huntercollinโฆ
2
8
514
Itโs funny how when someone tells you theyโre a single mother, you think, โthat poor motherโ. And when someone tells you theyโre a single dad, you think, โthat poor motherโ.
1
47
I flew to Europe to breed. Iโm like a rare species of crane.
1
5
109
If you ever see me sit on the stool onstage, fucking rip my tongue out through my anus and then yank it back up around my neck and choke me to death because my brain has turned to possum shit mold whereas able-minded me will never be that smug cunt. Fine if you do it tho.
1
2
5
344
Hunter Collins ๐ค ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ท๐ซ๐ฒโณ๏ธ๐ดโโ ๏ธ retweeted
Mar 31
๐โTo all my Canadian milk drinkers, we've got this one in the bag.
โญโโListen to my comedy album streaming on iTunes and Spotify get links at newscottlandland.com/stand-uโฆ
4
30
1,685
A family friend is visiting my Czech in-laws, laying eyes on my baby son for the first time. A few minutes ago, they tear one of his socks off, start pointing at my childโs toes, then at me, cracking up while I make out the Czech word for โsameโ.
2
389
Hunter Collins ๐ค ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ท๐ซ๐ฒโณ๏ธ๐ดโโ ๏ธ retweeted
11 Dec 2025
32
577
8,744
364,925
Iโve travelled the world. Performed for adoring audiences over the span of an illustrious 20 year career. And Iโve boffed the finest trim only Irish charm can buy. But itโs time to settle down and finally become a navy seal.
3
158
Pretty excited to be a stepdad to my son.
1
182
Hunter Collins ๐ค ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ท๐ซ๐ฒโณ๏ธ๐ดโโ ๏ธ retweeted
1 Oct 2025
20
618
7,177
501,972
These guysโ careers span from my last year at Humber College, to a failed music career, a successful comedy career, 5 relationships, 10 apartments, the birth of my son, 3 Cups, and I probably leaned 63 new recipes. I grew up alongside them. Maybe Iโm too old for my job too.
1
1
591
Assuming it's true so I can keep crying onto my guns.
1
99
Hunter Collins ๐ค ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ท๐ซ๐ฒโณ๏ธ๐ดโโ ๏ธ retweeted
14 Sep 2025
Got questioned at the border flying back to Canada the other day and had the insane experience of a boomer Quebecois lady pulling up my channel, seeing an ad play, and asking if I made this MasterCard commercial
4
5
213
5,812
I still think it should be spelled โPorchoogleโ.
113
Always the bukkak-EE, never the bukkak-ERโฆ
1
2
1,765
Bush did 4-11.
1
3
147
For instant schadenfreude, ask any comedian, โHey what happened to that podcast you did 5 episodes of and then never again since?โ
1
15
842
Iโve never seen a vampire be repelled by a crucifix, but I HAVE offered a Czech person fresh kale.
2
507
My toxic trait is believing you should fix your toxic trait instead of giving it a label to mask how youโre an unaccountable asshole.
3
963
80s horror movies always featured punk gangs that would never exist in real life. Like 2 Nicaraguan twins wearing 90 bandanas each, a Chinese guy with a switchblade named Scuzz and a baby in a wheelchair and theyโre all, โThis territory belongs to the Marshmallow Gangโฆโ
2
1
8
219
You guys watch - theyโll lift Hulk Hoganโs arm three times and on the third try itโll start shaking triumphantly.
1
1
12
313