Joined April 2009
- Tweets 106,943
- Following 3,538
- Followers 15,574
- Likes 152,485
6,476 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
16 Oct 2022
"it's just like riding a bicycle"
Oh cool the one vehicle I've crashed the most
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18 Nov 2025
Avatar Fire and Ash is like Raiders prime time games: nobody asked for it, but they're sure as fuck giving it to us anyways
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Jason Not Evil retweeted
31 Dec 2024
This signals the official end of Toyotathon
30 Dec 2023
Just a coyote howling from the rooftop of a car in Tucson, Ariz.
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Jason Not Evil retweeted
23 Dec 2024
🎵 You don’t wanna fuck with Santa
Cause Santa will fucking kill you
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Jason Not Evil retweeted
21 Nov 2024
me: *starts the washer*
me, two minutes later: what's that noise
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Jason Not Evil retweeted
16 Nov 2024
Jake Paul inspired me to wake up my dad and punch him in the face
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16 Nov 2024
I need to become a boxer. I mean, I hate fighting but love wearing shorts with superfluous fringe
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Jason Not Evil retweeted
6 Nov 2024
“Okay, climb in and let’s try this again.”
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Jason Not Evil retweeted
2 Oct 2024
JD Vance is a fusion of every kid that vanished on the Wonka Factory tour.
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Jason Not Evil retweeted
30 Sep 2024
Just filled water jugs from a pool so that we can flush the toilets with it. This is so nice because now I can save the La Croix for washing my pits with.
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2 Oct 2024
Welcome to your 40s. You are now in a garage band with the neighborhood dads
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Jason Not Evil retweeted
2 Oct 2024
My mom said you weren’t allowed to fact check me
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1 Oct 2024
Snoop: Murder was the case that they gave me.
Me: oh, mine was public urination, so same
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Jason Not Evil retweeted
30 Sep 2024
me: [on deathbed, voice weak and trembling] do you want to hear a joke?
hospice nurse: no
me: ok
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Jason Not Evil retweeted
28 Sep 2024
Mmmm hotel breakfast. Love to wake up at 545 AM to wait in line for the worst omelette I’ve ever had
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Jason Not Evil retweeted
30 Sep 2024
Saw this like 8 hours ago and my ocd is still riled up
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