It isn't always easy to own our story and to love ourselves, but the process of acceptance and moving forward with healing is important. We need to do it, and we need to have courage.
You don't have to take the past with you into the future. The past also doesn't have to define you.
We can go through incredibly painful experiences in life, and those things change us. The change tends to be bad or negative, but some of the changes may be good. We learn, grow, and become more resilient.
Change is tough, so practicing being self-compassionate will help. Learn to love yourself, even if it is just parts of yourself.
Love yourself in the present moment and think about who you want to be and where you want to be in the future. Be patient with yourself if you aren't sure of these, yet. Be patient with the change process.
If you need help, use your resources, connections, people you trust and who truly care for you, and mental health professionals.
If you need support from a professional counselor, search locally and or use an online directory.
For affordability, see if they accept insurance (if you have it), ask if they use a sliding scale, or see if they have a reduced fee spot open.
You don't have to go through things alone.
Remember, you can get through this.