Comedian/influencer. Bio in the bio! Two comedy specials. YouTube show. Becoming more powerful by the second.
Joined July 2009
- Tweets 85,264
- Following 652
- Followers 3,322
- Likes 104,425
2,982 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
May 26
The only thing that can heal this country or if you feel like hate-watching something for 36 minutes.
youtu.be/ByP3OKxUbIw?si=nI7M…
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Think of the coolest and most fun thing possible. Now imagine someone writing an article about it that says 'Why This Sucks Actually'.
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Housing prices are completely out of control and yet homes have only gotten older in the last 40 years. Think about it.
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Joe Pontillo retweeted
It's actually very painful for the Kool-Aid Man to burst through walls all day. But you don't care, you only think about yourself.
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The Office couldn't be made today because everyone works from home and the industry is dying.
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"Mind if I repeatedly try to trip or injure you as you're attempting to feed me?" - Cats
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My brain melted.
My city unlivable.
My god, he's got a gun.
Knicks won.
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Jun 14
"I must grow even taller and commit even more obvious fouls."
Jun 14
“We absolutely dominated for most of the series”
Victor Wembanyama after the Spurs lost 4-1 in the Finals
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Jun 14
The Knicks just had to wait for Michael Jordan, Reggie Miller and Hakeem Olajuwon to be comfortably retired for a few decades before going on a run. Always play the long game.
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Jun 14
"I honestly forgot I even owned a basketball team until recently." - James Dolan
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Jun 14
The refs walking into the same locker room as the Spurs looking defeated.
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Jun 14
Wemby just ran a Knicks player over with a car and the refs are laughing.
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Jun 13
In the 1980's Nintendo could put out a video game where the main objective was to rearrange your apartment and people would absolutely lose their minds over it.
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Jun 13
Talked with three different people about the weather today. That should cover me for the rest of the decade.
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Jun 13
The American dream of having 2.5 kids sounds good in theory except for the fact that the half child is almost certainly going to end up being evil.
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Jun 13
Very brave of you to defend Taylor Swift's Knicks fandom. I hope she writes a song about you on her next album.
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Joe Pontillo retweeted
May 26
The only thing that can heal this country or if you feel like hate-watching something for 36 minutes.
youtu.be/ByP3OKxUbIw?si=nI7M…
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Jun 13
"Come quick babe, my friend from high school that I haven't seen in over a decade just sent me another reel."
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Joe Pontillo retweeted
Jun 12
I always thought I’d be the first one in the family to get a professional hip replacement.
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