I've been self employed for the last 16 years. My wife and I had no trouble getting a mortgage in 2021. IMHO, ability to get a mortgage hinges on three things:
1.) A lender that's willing to work with self-employed folks.
If your lender is giving you trouble, find another lender, they're a dime a dozen.
2.) Competency and work ethic of your mortgage rep / broker
Applying for a mortgage when you're self employed requires more steps. If your broker isn't up for the challenge, go elsewhere, they are also a dime a dozen.
3.) Your own financial organization.
You'll have to supply 2 to 3 years of tax returns, business financial statements, business bank statements, and business credit card statements. All of these things need to match up. Your bookkeeping will need to have been done well and accurate... As well as your tax returns.
If you're writing off every expense that you can get your hands on, such as tons of personal expenses, so that you can drive your tax liability down to zero by showing no income, then you will not be able to get a loan. Your tax returns in this case are wrong at best, and tax fraud at worst. Don't blame the broker or the lender for your shortcoming in this area (too many self employed people do this on many levels).
Also, if your business' bookkeeping is a dumpster fire, OR you're several years behind on filing tax returns, OR you don't submit all of the data asked of you to the broker/lender, they are not going to move your deal forward expediently, or at all.
I hope this helps!